tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83753440964090319792024-03-13T15:17:10.942-04:00Straight GuiseThis site is about men who have sex with men (MSM) who question their sexual orientation. This is not intended for reparative therapy, religion or pornography. This site is about the many reasons men engage in sexual contact with other men that are not about homosexuality. It will educate readers on the differences between sexual identity, sexual behavior and sexual fantasy.Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.comBlogger169125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-9996301554607465252013-08-22T17:08:00.002-04:002013-08-22T17:08:40.108-04:00Interesting comments on a blog reprinting my HuffPost Article<br />
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<span style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">A couple of weeks ago I had the pleasure of briefly speaking with psychotherapist and author Dr. Joe Kort. Dr. Kort has appeared on The Tyra Banks Show, The Montel Williams Show and Oprah & Friends Radio to name a few. I was requesting his permission to re-post an article he authored for the <strong style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Huffington Post</strong>. His article <i>Why Some Straight Men Are Romantically or Sexually Attracted to Other Men, </i>I feel is extremely insightful and thought provoking and I wanted to share it with the Cypher Ave audience. In the article he briefly states a variety of reasons why many types of men engage in same-sex relationships. I loved the fact how the subject matter was from the perspective of a professional therapist in tuned with male sexuality. Check out the article below and as always, feel free to share your thoughts and opinions. </span></div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">-Ocky Williams</strong></div>
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<a href="http://cypheravenue.com/why-some-straight-men-are-romantically-or-sexually-attracted-to-other-men/">http://cypheravenue.com/why-some-straight-men-are-romantically-or-sexually-attracted-to-other-men/</a>Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-41723108445611931112013-08-02T17:02:00.002-04:002013-08-02T17:02:50.096-04:00Why Some Straight Men Are Romantically or Sexually Attracted to Other Men<br />
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This is recent blog entry I made on Huffington Post:</div>
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I recently wrote <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joe-kort-phd/gay-men-attracted-to-straight-men_b_3633342.html" style="border: 0px; color: #ed4a4b; cursor: pointer; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">a blog post</a> about the music video for singer-songwriter Steve Grand's song "All-American Boy," in which a gay man falls in love with a straight man and they share a quick kiss. In that post I addressed why gay men might be attracted to straight men, but that question raises another: Why might a straight man be romantically or sexually attracted to other men? Why did the straight guy in the video kiss the gay guy back, after all?</div>
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The following scenario happens many times: A man comes into my office, referred by his own therapist and clutching coming-out literature that the therapist has given him. He explains that his therapist has tried, unsuccessfully, to help him come out as gay or bisexual, but even though he's had sex with other men or gone to gay porn websites, he insists that he isn't gay. He says that he isn't homophobic either; if it turns out that he is indeed gay or bisexual, he'll accept it and move on with his life, but the label just doesn't feel right to him.</div>
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During the last three decades, in reaction to prejudiced and destructive anti-gay attitudes, we've seen the pendulum swing so far in the other direction that it's now become almost a therapeutic credo, not to mention a requirement of political correctness, to assume that men who have sex with men are "in denial" and need help to recognize and accept their "true" homosexual orientation. In fact, neither extreme represents the experience of many men. The truth is that many men who have sex with men aren't gay or even bisexual. Although their mental and emotional state resembles that of the initial stages of coming out, gay and bisexual men go on to develop a gay or a bisexual identity, whereas these men don't.</div>
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To continue reading click here http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joe-kort-phd/why-some-straight-men-are-romantically-or-sexually-attracted-to-other-men_b_3670740.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices</div>
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The comments from people insisting that labels matter and trying to put people in boxes are most interesting to me. How about you?</div>
Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-12602554982407248952013-02-21T12:32:00.003-05:002013-02-21T12:35:42.627-05:00"A Billion Wicked Thoughts" book talks about why straight men are interested in sex with men.<br />
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There is growing scientific evidence and research being done as to why straight men would be interested in sexual activity with other men. </div>
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<a href="http://www.sexualityresource.com/the-strange-new-science-behind-a-billion-wicked-thoughts/">http://www.sexualityresource.com/the-strange-new-science-behind-a-billion-wicked-thoughts/</a></div>
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<b>Here is some information from Stephen Snyder, MD</b></div>
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It’s not so unusual these days for a woman to discover pornographic pictures on her husband’s computer. But the images that one wife found recently were especially shocking. Her first thought when she found them was, “This is the end of our marriage.”</div>
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Her next thought was, “This is the end of civilization.”</div>
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The pictures were of nude women, ordinary looking women, except with big erect penises where their female genitals should be. Some were clearly computer-manipulated photographs. Others seemed to be some kind of Japanese cartoon. She’d wasted no time in calling her therapist.</div>
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Was he gay? No. On the internet, there are enough images of real men with erections, in all possible guises and permutations, to satisfy even the most novelty-crazed gay man.</div>
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Was his nature in some way secretly feminine? Absolutely not. Women don’t go looking for pictures of erect penises. A woman may appreciate it when a living, breathing male partner has become erect out of desire for her. But only after he’s proven his worth in other ways.</div>
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So what was the husband’s problem?</div>
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When I polled colleagues, their response varied from “Never heard of it, but it sounds pretty sick,” to “Steve, you don’t get out enough. This kind of stuff has been around forever.”</div>
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<strong>Some light on the subject</strong></div>
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Last month I received an advance copy of a new book of sexual research, <em>A Billion Wicked Thoughts</em>, that explores the matter of women with erections and many other sexual subjects using an interesting new method.</div>
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In the space of a single year, using publicly available data, authors Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam collected the records of 400 million internet searches in the US and elsewhere, and analyzed whatever sexual content they found.</div>
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After reading the book, I was convinced I had my answer to the question of what was wrong with the husband who liked to look at women with big erections.</div>
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The answer: Nothing was wrong with him at all.</div>
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According to the authors of <em>A Billion Wicked Thoughts</em>, he was the target of a sophisticated internet marketing trick, offering men a novel combination of two ordinary things that many ordinary heterosexual men like to look at: women’s naked bodies . . and erect penises.</div>
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To read more click here <a href="http://www.sexualityresource.com/the-strange-new-science-behind-a-billion-wicked-thoughts/" style="line-height: 1.5em;">http://www.sexualityresource.com/the-strange-new-science-behind-a-billion-wicked-thoughts/</a></div>
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Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-27218566930178308512013-02-18T12:46:00.002-05:002013-02-18T12:46:40.254-05:00Heterosexual men fellated by gay men have lower prostate and testicular cancer risk, study saysEvery once in a while I come across something of humor and like to post it. Here is an article that is similar to something you would find in The Onion.<br />
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It also plays to the concept of gay men being attracted to straight men and finding ways to make straight men okay with being sexual together.<br />
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<b><u>Heterosexual men fellated by gay men have lower prostate and testicular cancer risk, study says</u></b><br />
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Missoula, MT -- Heterosexual men who are regularly fellated by homosexual men have a lower risk of developing prostate and testicular cancer, a research study has found.</div>
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The "Study On The General Health Benefits Of One-Way Gay Fellatio" was spearheaded by University of Montana Sexual & Liberal Studies research fellow Dr. Wendel Jones, and will be published in the upcoming Spring issue of the Men's Journal Of Health & Gender. It was initially met with jeers and snickering when first proposed in 2005, but Jones persevered to get funding, and was finally able to get it off the ground a year later.</div>
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Conducted over a period of four years, the research involved 600 men aged 23 to 54 who exclusively identify as heterosexual and enjoy penetrative vaginal sex with women. They were divided into two groups: one received oral sex on a daily basis from a team of experienced homosexual men, while the other did not. At the end of the study, all 600 were screened for prostate and testicular cancer. Eight tested positive for prostate cancer; six for testicular. All fourteen were from the group that did not get serviced orally by gay men.</div>
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Biologists who have examined the findings believe it may have something to do with "innate body resonance" (IBR), which refers to the human body's natural, ingrained inclination to react positively to external stimuli coming from another person of the same sex. In this case, the oral stimulation of a man's genitals by another man results in a positive metabolic effect that is magnified intrinsically by the body and improves its chances of resisting prostate and testicular cancer development.</div>
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"Gay men often like to say that no one knows how to please a man better than another man," said Dr. Gayle Darvill. "Well, it's not just a pick-up line. It's innate body resonance."</div>
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Darvill added "it's no surprise" that fewer gay men die of prostate or testicular cancer. "The gays have unknowingly stumbled on the secret to prostate and testicular health," said Darvill.</div>
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To read more click here<span style="color: #666666;"> <span style="background-color: transparent;"><a href="http://www.bentspud.com/2010/10/30/heterosexual-men-fellated-by-gay-men-have-lower-prostate-and-testicular-cancer-risk-study-says/">http://www.bentspud.com/2010/10/30/heterosexual-men-fellated-by-gay-men-have-lower-prostate-and-testicular-cancer-risk-study-says/</a></span></span></div>
Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-45912300975778710212013-02-09T18:33:00.001-05:002013-02-09T18:33:16.734-05:00 Watching porn makes straight men more receptive to the idea of same-sex marriage, new study claims I posted recently about how straight men can become more susceptible to having sex with another man through the amount of porn he watches. I have also sat with gay and straight men who have told me that they have engaged in various sexual activities which were introduced to them from porn.<br />
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I don't judge this to be a positive or negative thing as much as I try to understand the person's relationship to the sexual activity.<br />
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That said, it makes sense to me that the more porn a straight man watches the more receptive to the idea he would be of gay marriage. The more positive exposure people receive to witnessing gays in any way, the less homophobic they become and research has shown this to be true as well. To read some of this research I recommend Dr. Herek's research<a href="http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow/html/sexual_prejudice.html"> http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow/html/sexual_prejudice.html</a><br />
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This study supports this idea. <br />
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/Watching%20porn%20makes%20straight%20men%20more%20receptive%20to%20the%20idea%20of%20same-sex%20marriage,%20new%20study%20claims%20%20Read%20more:%20http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2273376/Watching-porn-makes-straight-men-receptive-idea-sex-marriage-new-study-claims.html#ixzz2KRnbT7az%20Follow%20us:%20@MailOnline%20on%20Twitter%20|%20DailyMail%20on%20Facebook">Watching porn makes straight men more receptive to the idea of same-sex marriage, new study claims Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2273376/Watching-porn-makes-straight-men-receptive-idea-sex-marriage-new-study-claims.html#ixzz2KRnbT7az Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook</a><br />
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<span style="font-size: 1.2em;">Campaigners for same-sex marriage have always come up against particularly vociferous opposition from heterosexual men.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 1.2em;">But
a study from the U.S. has suggested a novel method of persuading them
to soften their stance on the divisive issue: get them to watch dirty
videos.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 1.2em;">The new academic
analysis suggests that the more that straight men watch pornography, the
more they warm to the idea that two people of the same sex could be
married.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 1.2em;">Paul Wright,
assistant professor of communications at Indiana University and author
of the study, said the effect was particularly marked in men who were
less-well educated.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 1.2em;">He said
the change in attitude could because of pornography opens their mind to
accepting non-traditional sexual situations - like those involving
participants of the same sex.</span><br />
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To read the entire article click here <a href="http://washingtonexaminer.com/study-watching-porn-boosts-support-for-same-sex-marriage/article/2520461/article/2520461">http://washingtonexaminer.com/study-watching-porn-boosts-support-for-same-sex-marriage/article/2520461/article/2520461</a> Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-2544655454051377592013-01-18T15:13:00.001-05:002013-01-18T15:20:52.672-05:00Research on "mostly straight men"Here is a great article written byRitch Savin-Williams and Kenneth Cohen discussing their research about why straight men would be interested in sex with other men.<br />
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<a href="http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/mostly-straight/">Mostly Straight Men Who Have Sex With Men</a><br />
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<span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">National surveys in the U.S. and Canada show that 3 to 4 percent of male teenagers, when given the choice to select a term that best describes their sexual feelings, desires, and behaviors, opt not for heterosexual, bisexual, or gay, but for <em>“mostly” or “predominantly” heterosexual</em>.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">An even higher percentage of post-high-school young-adult men in the U.S. and in a handful of other countries (including New Zealand and Norway) make the same choice. There are now more young men who feel they are “mostly straight” than who say they are bisexual or gay.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">To the uninitiated, “mostly straight” is a paradox. These young men fracture the heterosexual agenda—or do we call it a lifestyle? If a guy is <em>not exclusively</em> into girls, he can’t be <em>totally</em> straight. Aren’t you supposed to pick a side?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">If a guy is not straight, not bisexual, and not gay—and yet still falls in love and gets an erection—what the hell is he?</span></div>
<span style="background-color: #f3f3f3; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Verdana; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"><br />Read more at <a href="http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/mostly-straight/#UZhJcb6m7xkZbJVk.99" style="color: #003399; text-decoration: none;">http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/mostly-straight/#UZhJcb6m7xkZbJVk.99</a> </span>Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-71859568956575332522013-01-03T13:04:00.000-05:002013-01-03T13:04:13.789-05:00Pornography and Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder On Jan 1 I posted a TED talk of Your Brain on Porn <a href="http://straightguise.blogspot.com/2013/01/can-porn-make-you-engage-in-sex-you.html">http://straightguise.blogspot.com/2013/01/can-porn-make-you-engage-in-sex-you.html</a><div>
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As I went through their website I found some great information about HOCD (Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I get many calls from men suffering from this and I have always believed it had something to do with internet pornography addiction attaching itself to OCD. These researchers think similarly:</div>
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Below is from the Your Brain on Porn Website:</div>
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<a href="http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/hocd-homosexual-ocd-sexual-orientation-ocd">Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder</a></div>
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<strong style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 16.799999237060547px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Fear of Being Gay (Homosexual OCD / HOCD)</strong></h4>
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Emerging sexuality can be confusing for any teen or young adult, and gay teens face a variety of unique challenges over the course of adolescence.</div>
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In addition to learning to understand their own sexuality, gay teens must navigate complex situations and pressures that may not be relevant for straight teens. They must also deal with opinionated parents, friends, and others who sometimes hold differing views about sexuality. Anxiety, distress, and confusion are often part of this process.</div>
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This post is not about the anxiety associated with being gay or with “coming out” but instead discusses homosexual OCD (“HOCD”), an anxiety disorder that affects a small number of individuals. HOCD is not unique to teens but can occur at any age.</div>
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<strong style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">What is HOCD?</em></strong></div>
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Homosexual OCD (“HOCD”) is a specific subtype of <a href="http://www.steveseay.com/ocd-obsessive-compulsive-disorder/" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; color: #005299; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)</a> that involves recurrent sexual obsessions and intrusive doubts about one’s sexual orientation.</div>
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Straight individuals with homosexual OCD experience obsessive fears about the possibility of being gay. Their HOCD obsessions often consist of unwanted thoughts, <a href="http://www.steveseay.com/ocd-unwanted-impulse-cursing-harming-killing/" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; color: #005299; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">impulses</a>, or images that uncontrollably pop into consciousness. To reduce the anxiety brought on by their obsessions, individuals with HOCD engage in a variety of rituals that focus on “proving their true sexuality” or reducing their perceived “vulnerability” to becoming gay.</div>
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<a href="http://www.steveseay.com/sexual-obsessions-ocd/" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; color: #005299; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Sexual obsessions</a> can also affect gay men, lesbians, or bisexual individuals with OCD, who may become fearful about the possibility of becoming straight (“Straight OCD”). The common element that unites these seemingly opposite sexual obsessions is the fear of being attracted to something unwanted, taboo, or “unacceptable” based on one’s particular worldview. For the sake of simplicity, I’ll be using HOCD-centric language in this post. However, the same basic elements are directly applicable to all people with obsessive doubts about their sexual orientation.</div>
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People with HOCD worry that they might secretly be gay or might become gay, despite not questioning their sexuality in the past. Prior to the onset of HOCD, they might have had few doubts about their sexual orientation. Many people with homosexual OCD also have a history of having enjoyed heterosexual relationships in the past. It was only after the first unwanted thought “popped” that they became overly concerned about the prospect of being gay. The occurrence of this unwanted thought then causes them to question their sexual identity and reanalyze previous experiences, in light of the possibility that they might possibly be gay.</div>
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Individuals with homosexual OCD want to know “for sure” that they are not gay and often go to great lengths to prove to themselves that they are straight. However, due to the way OCD is strengthened and reinforced by rituals, these attempts ultimately backfire. The result is that some people with HOCD become extremely disabled. In order to avoid symptom triggers, it’s not uncommon for people with homosexual OCD to become depressed and drop out of school, quit their jobs, end relationships, or make other life-altering decisions that paradoxically make their symptoms worse.</div>
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In some cases, individuals with HOCD experiment with homosexual relationships or adopt gay lifestyles because of doubt about their heterosexuality. This doubt causes them to leave their current spouses/partners, “come out,” and begin to date same sex individuals. However, in contrast to lesbians and gay men who “come out” and find happiness, individuals with HOCD find their new lives distressing, confusing, and dissatisfying. Moreover, they continue to experience doubt and uncertainty about their sexuality.</div>
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To read further click here <a href="http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/hocd-homosexual-ocd-sexual-orientation-ocd">http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/hocd-homosexual-ocd-sexual-orientation-ocd</a></div>
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Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-79716035412642969302013-01-01T22:08:00.001-05:002013-01-03T13:14:54.101-05:00Can porn make you engage in sex you don't want?There is a great talk on TED which describes the problems men are having who watch too much porn. Close to the end Wilson addresses how porn can sway you away from your sexual orientation toward sexual behaviors with whatever sex you are not attracted to.<br />
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Again this facilitates the dialogue I am trying to have here on this blog which is that straight men can have sex with other men. It is about behavior, not sexual orientation.<br />
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This is true for gay men as well as we see everyday in which they are having sex with women even though their orientation is homosexual.<br />
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The movie Shame <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Shame-Blu-ray-DVD-Digital-Copy/dp/B006OB3K56">http://www.amazon.com/Shame-Blu-ray-DVD-Digital-Copy/dp/B006OB3K56</a> showed also how a sexually addicted man escalated his sexual acting out behaviors to the point where he had sex with men even though he was heterosexual. It was accessibility, not sexual orientation.<br />
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU">The Great Porn Experiment: Gary Wilson at TEDxGlasgow </a>Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-50530922826769910152012-09-27T00:20:00.003-04:002012-09-27T00:20:48.726-04:00I found my husband looking at gay porn does that mean he is gay?<br />
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What would you do if you found gay porn on your husband's computer? What assumptions would you make? Would it be safe to say he's gay?</div>
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In this video, author, relationship coach and YourTango Expert <a href="http://www.yourtango.com/experts/joekort" style="-webkit-transition: all 0.3s ease; border: 0px; color: #ae0d55; margin: 0px; padding: 1px; vertical-align: baseline;">Dr. Joe Kort </a>explains what it means — and what it doesn't mean — when you learn that your husband has spent time searching the web for homosexually explicit content. <a class="callout-video" href="http://www.yourtango.com/2012160712/how-often-do-healthy-couples-have-sex-video" style="-webkit-transition: all 0.3s ease; border: 0px; color: #ae0d55; margin: 0px; padding: 1px; vertical-align: baseline;">How Often Do Healthy Couples Have Sex? [VIDEO]</a></div>
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"When men have sex with other men," says Joe, "sometimes it's because they're gay, and sometimes it's because they're straight and they're curious."</div>
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Want to learn more? Check out the video above.</div>
Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-62855639802026848782012-06-09T01:32:00.001-04:002012-06-09T01:40:21.130-04:00Why We Care About John Travolta's SexualityI just wrote an article on Huffington Post about men who have sex with men as it might related to what is being debated about John Travolta.<br />
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In the past few weeks there have been numerous speculations that John Travolta might have been sexual with men and therefore might be gay.</div>
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Our culture is obsessed with men who have sex with men and quickly label them as bisexual or gay. The gay community becomes angry toward those who are closeting themselves, wanting these public people to come out and show that being gay is OK.</div>
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Women call my office frantically after discovering their husbands and boyfriends looking at gay porn or meeting men on Craigslist and understandably worry their husbands may be gay or bisexual. These women care for obvious reasons, because if their man is gay, then the marriage is over in their minds.</div>
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To read more click here http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joe-kort-phd/john-travolta-sexuality_b_1579081.html?ref=gay-voices <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joe-kort-phd/john-travolta-sexuality_b_1579081.html?ref=gay-voices">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joe-kort-phd/john-travolta-sexuality_b_1579081.html?ref=gay-voices </a></div>Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-1149014995751420082012-02-03T09:51:00.000-05:002012-02-03T09:59:50.064-05:00What Cynthia Nixon Is Teaching Us About SexualityWhen actress Cynthia Nixon declared that for her, being gay is a choice, she received much negative backlash from the gay and lesbian community. I don't see her revelation as negative as much as I appreciate her giving us an opportunity to discuss a very complex concept of sexuality.
Most people -- gay and straight alike -- prefer to believe that you are either gay or straight. Bisexuals are seen as "bi now, gay later." And those who are "heteroflexible" -- heterosexual but enjoying gay sex everyone once in a while -- are almost always seen as latent homosexuals, especially if they are males. The truth is that it is not this simple at all.<br />
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Read my article at Huffington Post<br />
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To read more click <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joe-kort-phd/cynthia-nixon-sexuality_b_1248824.html?ref=gay-voices">here</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joe-kort-phd/cynthia-nixon-sexuality_b_1248824.html?ref=gay-voices">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joe-kort-phd/cynthia-nixon-sexuality_b_1248824.html?ref=gay-voices</a>Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-39429668010708973482012-01-09T15:23:00.001-05:002012-01-09T15:23:20.873-05:00"I would say the majority meaning 99.9% of them have not experienced a change in their orientation" Alan Chamber, President of Exodus Intl for ex-gays.Alan Chambers, president of the ex-gay organization Exodus, came out and said the following quote at a Gay Christian Networking group:
The majority of people that I have met, and I would say the majority meaning 99.9% of them have not experienced a change in their orientation or have gotten to a place where they could say that they could never be tempted or are not tempted in some way or experience some level of same-sex attraction. I think there is a gender issue there, there are some women who have challenged me and said that my orientation or my attractions have changed completely. Those have been few and far between. The vast majority of people that I know will experience some level of same-sex attraction.
To read more click here
<a href="http://wthrockmorton.com/2012/01/09/alan-chambers-99-9-have-not-experienced-a-change-in-their-orientation/ ">http://wthrockmorton.com/2012/01/09/alan-chambers-99-9-have-not-experienced-a-change-in-their-orientation/ </a>Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-55052012096045935402011-10-22T06:08:00.002-04:002011-10-22T06:09:01.906-04:00Why are gay men threatened by straight men having sex with men?There was a post at a website titled, "Queerty" http://www.queerty.com/read-this-if-you-wanna-learn-how-to-seduce-straight-guys-20111019/ which was called, "Read This If You Wanna Learn How To Seduce Straight Guys".
Queerty.com saw an article I wrote on Psychology Today about straight men having sex with other men. What baffles me are the comments of gay men who are naive and ignorant to understanding that men can have sex with men and not be bisexual or gay.
I would be interested in responses here from some of you as to what your thoughts are by the comments on that site.
It is clear from reading this blog and the www.straightguise.com website that I do believe and know that bisexuality exists. I acknowledge that and talk about that when it is true for some men.
One comment was that, "if a man is having sex with both genders than he is bisexual". This implies that bisexuality is simply based on a sexual act which would then have to mean that being gay and straight are only based on sexual acts.
I always say that if I never have sex with another man again for the rest of my life I will still be gay and I know that to be true.
Gay men who are hetererosexually married and having sex with their wives are not bisexual after they come out. They were always gay.
Here is the website page and the comments http://www.queerty.com/read-this-if-you-wanna-learn-how-to-seduce-straight-guys-20111019/Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-62436300714687672992011-03-21T02:20:00.000-04:002011-03-21T02:20:57.454-04:00"Born This Way" Blog: Alex<a href="http://borngaybornthisway.blogspot.com/2011/03/alex_17.html?spref=bl">"Born This Way" Blog: Alex</a>: "Alex, age 4 Ames, IA (1976) That's me in the green footie pajamas, kissing another boy. I've always loved this photo, and I refer to it as '..."<br /><br />Very sweet to see images of same gendered kids being sweet with one another.Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-74198664570577651982011-03-21T02:13:00.000-04:002011-03-21T02:13:40.247-04:00The Daily Maverick :: 'Sex At Dawn': shattering the monogamy myth, and more<a href="http://www.thedailymaverick.co.za/article/2011-03-17-sex-at-dawn-shattering-the-monogamy-myth-and-more">The Daily Maverick :: 'Sex At Dawn': shattering the monogamy myth, and more</a>Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-7839552302480755432011-02-11T19:12:00.000-05:002011-02-11T19:12:01.962-05:00Why Does THAT Arouse me?<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, Calibri, sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I am thinking of doing a teleseminar to help people understand and relieve themselves of the shame of their sexual fantasies. I would love to hear thoughts of what you would like me to focus on that would interest you in knowing about what your sexual fantasies say about you!</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, Calibri, sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, Calibri, sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">All sexual fantasies are healthy. There are some that should never be acted on because they might be putting the person who has them or someone else at risk. I don’t believe there’s any pathology in our sexual fantasies or desires. Instead, I see them as a positive story about ourselves that’s trying to be told. Learning what the nonsexual meanings of our fantasies are can be very helpful.</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 21px;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, Calibri, sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"> </span></div></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><div _mce_style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; color: #000000;" style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, Calibri, sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span _mce_style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">For example, you might have a fantasy of being dominated and spanked. </span></span><span _mce_style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">There’s nothing wrong with that fantasy and there’s nothing wrong with doing it. But what I want to help someone do is explore why they have that fanta</span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">sy from a positive perspective and not necessarily pathologize it. Not in a negative way but in a positive way. What does that mean about you?”</span></span></span></span></div><div _mce_style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; color: #000000;" style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, Calibri, sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></div><div style="color: black; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span _mce_style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Dr. Kort learned the benefit of helping people explore the origins of their fantasies through years of work with men who are addicted to sex and from those who have been sexually abused. By "cracking the erotic code" and learning the narrative of what the sexual desires mean can help you feel better about your sexuality and learn more about yourself.</span></span></span></div><div style="color: black; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span _mce_style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div style="color: black; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span _mce_style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">If you would like to hear the last teleclass I did on this topic <a href="http://joekortclasses.com/default.asp?id=4360">click here</a></span></span></span></div></span></div></span></span>Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-90583981658938344392011-02-11T19:04:00.002-05:002011-02-11T19:04:33.415-05:00New from the Kort Report February 2011<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs081/1102561682612/archive/1104300010342.html</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I am excited to be going to London, England to offer my workshops for gay and lesbian couples and gay and bisexual males who are partnered or single. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I will also be offering a couple's workshop for all couples here in Michigan in March. </div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I am writing for a popular magazine for gay men in the UK called, "Attitude", in which I answer questions from gay men about their lives. </div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Read the newsletter for all this and more by <a href="http://I am excited to be going to London, England to offer my workshops for gay and lesbian couples and gay and bisexual males who are partnered or single. I am writing for a popular magazine for gay men in the UK called, "Attitude", in which I answer questions from gay men about their lives.">clicking here </a></div></div>Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-3979818324902102962011-02-07T10:35:00.001-05:002011-02-07T10:35:08.007-05:00Can you call yourself bisexual if you have never had sex with a member of your own gender?What's the connection between sexual orientation and sexual activity? Can you call yourself X if you haven't Y'd? <br/> <br/> What are the defining features of sexual orientation? That is, in this case, what makes a bi-sexual a bi-sexual? <br/> <br/> Who gets to call themselves what? Or in your words, when is it proper to call yourself something? <br/> <br/> <a href='http://sexuality.about.com/b/2011/02/07/can-you-call-yourself-x-if-youve-never-yd.htm'>Can You Call Yourself X if You've Never Y'd?</a> <div style='clear: both; text-align: center; font-size: xx-small;'>Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7</div>Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-44429735782243228482011-02-01T07:57:00.001-05:002011-02-01T07:57:30.380-05:00Same-Sex Affairs: Men More Forgiving than Women, Study Says - Health Blog - CBS News(CBS) No one likes being cheated on, but guys are more willing to forgive and forget when their girlfriend cheats with a woman than with another man. <br/> In fact, guys are more than twice as likely to continue to date a woman who strays with a woman than one who has a heterosexual affair, according to a new study. <br/> What about women who've been cheated on? They show the opposite pattern, saying they're more likely to continue dating a man who has had a heterosexual affair than one who has had a homosexual affair. <br/> <br/> <a Href='http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20030042-10391704.html'>Same-Sex Affairs: Men More Forgiving than Women, Study Says - Health Blog - CBS News</a> <div style='clear: both; text-align: center; font-size: xx-small;'>Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6</div>Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-26846496638248242772011-01-18T10:34:00.001-05:002011-01-18T12:59:23.713-05:00Sex on the Download: A Four part teleclass<span class="Apple-style-span" style="COLOR: rgb(102,102,102); LINE-HEIGHT: 21pxfont-family:Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;font-size:14;" >Find out what is wrong and what is right with looking at porn on the internet and chatting with others on the internet.<br /><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="COLOR: rgb(102,102,102); LINE-HEIGHT: 21pxfont-family:Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;font-size:14;" ><p style="MARGIN-TOP: 0em; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 1em"><strong style="font-size:26px;"><span style="color:black;">SEX ON THE DOWNLOAD:<br />Part 1</span></strong><br /><strong style="FONT-SIZE: 16px"><a href="http://www.drtammynelson.com/sex-on-the-download/">A four part teleclass</a> with Joe Kort and Tammy Nelson</strong></p><p style="MARGIN-TOP: 0em; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 1em"><span style="color:black;"><a href="http://www.drtammynelson.com/sex-on-the-download/">"Sex on the Download</a>" is a reflection of our current culture of internet relationships where the growing societal influence of connecting in cyber relationships can create real time intimacy, but may also lead to compulsive sexual behaviors, porn addiction and compulsive infidelity. </span></p><p style="MARGIN-TOP: 0em; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 1em"><span style="color:black;">Is it inevitable that in the not too distant future we will ultimately download all of our intimate and sexual connections? </span></p><p style="MARGIN-TOP: 0em; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 1em"><span style="color:black;">For some users, this time may already be here. And it may be effecting real life partnerships, jobs, and the ability to create healthy sexual connections.</span></p><p style="MARGIN-TOP: 0em; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 1em"><span style="color:black;">Therapists, educators, sexuality counselors and medical practitioners will benefit from this training to assist anyone who uses the internet as a pathway to relationship, connection, sexuality or pleasure and who finds themselves caught in a web of cyber chaos, pain, addiction or crisis.</span></p><p style="MARGIN-TOP: 0em; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 1em"><span style="color:black;">Learn direct interventions, insight oriented and nonpathologizing behavioral changes, and directed attempts to connect for couples and individuals. We will use lecture, case example and worksheets and handouts. Supervision, group discussion and ongoing support is included in this LIVE teleclass.</span></p><p style="MARGIN-TOP: 0em; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 1em"><span style="font-size:16;"><span style="color:black;"><strong>Four Tuesdays: Jan 25, Feb 1, 8, 15, 2011<br />12pm – 1pm EST</strong></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN-TOP: 0em; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 1em"><strong><span style="font-size:16;"><span style="color:black;">COST: $200</span></span></strong> (student discount may be available)</p><p style="MARGIN-TOP: 0em; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 1em"><span style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,0)"><strong><span style="color:black;">Week 1</span></strong> <span style="color:black;">- Participants will learn to provide appropriate diagnosis of sexual disorders such as sexualcompulsivity, sexual addiction, porn addiction, compulsive infidelity and other sexual behavioral disorders that manifest as internet disorders. Is there such a thing as sex addiction? Is porn addiction real? Can it be something else? What is healthy use of the internet? Can pornography use ever be healthy? </span></span></p><p style="MARGIN-TOP: 0em; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 1em"><span style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,0)"><strong><span style="color:black;">Week 2</span></strong> - <span style="color:black;">Participants will learn ways to work with partners to accept responsibility for the repair of sexual dysfunction as it relates to object relations and personal sexual history. Work with couples to repair relationships after infidelity, after porn addiction, after betrayal or trauma. Move partnerships through specific stages of erotic recovery necessary for healing.</span></span></p><p style="MARGIN-TOP: 0em; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 1em"><span style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,0)"><strong><span style="color:black;">Week 3</span></strong> - <span style="color:black;">Participants will learn ways to address the nonsexual meanings of sexual behaviors or lack thereof including cracking the code of fantasy and desire as it relates to internet behavior. Learn ways to share fantasy with partners to decrease anxiety and bring erotic energy back in to the relationship instead of splitting it off to outside exits.</span><span style="color:black;"> </span></span></p><p style="MARGIN-TOP: 0em; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 1em"><span style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,0)"><strong><span style="color:black;">Week 4</span></strong> - <span style="color:black;">Participants will learn ways to explore their own countertransference, assumptions and assertions and the difficulties this presents in the treatment of internet relationships. The non-pathological use of theinternet is reflected in positively framed couples work using fluidity, intuition and sexual empathy.</span></span></p><p style="MARGIN-TOP: 0em; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 1em">Tammy Nelson, PhD, LPC, is a Certified Sexologist, a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Certified Imago Therapist and the author of<em>Getting the Sex You Want: Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together</em>, and lectures and trains internationally on sex and relationships. <a style="COLOR: rgb(105,68,68); TEXT-DECORATION: none" href="http://www.drtammynelson.com/">http://www.DrTammyNelson.com/</a></p><p style="MARGIN-TOP: 0em; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 1em">Joe Kort, PhD, LMSW, is a psychotherapist and Board Certified Sexologist who specializes in sexual identity issues, IMAGO relationship therapy, sex therapy and sexual addiction. He is the author of two books on gay male identity and relationships, <em>Gay Affirmative Therapy for the Straight Clinician</em> and has a chapter for female partners who are involved with men who have sex with men in <em>Mending a<br />Shattered Heart</em>. <a style="COLOR: rgb(105,68,68); TEXT-DECORATION: none" href="http://www.joekort.com/">http://www.joekort.com/</a></p><div><br /></div></span></div></span><script src="http://www.google-analytics.com/urchin.js" type="text/javascript">></script><br /><script type="text/javascript">>_uacct = "UA-2410584-8";<br />>urchinTracker();<br /></script>Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-25873854037453223822011-01-12T14:12:00.003-05:002011-01-12T14:17:40.458-05:00Sexual Orientation Confusion: Making Sense of Sexual Orientation Confusion on About.com<a href="http://sexuality.about.com/od/sexinformation/a/sex_orientation.htm?nl=1">Sexual Orientation Confusion<br />Making Sense of Sexual Orientation Confusion<br /></a>By <a href="http://sexuality.about.com/bio/Cory-Silverberg-17133.htm" rel="author">Cory Silverberg</a>, About.com Guide<br />Updated February 11, 2009<br /><br />In public, most people present themselves as having one single <a href="http://sexuality.about.com/od/glossary/g/sexualorientata.htm">sexual orientation</a>. Society, families, and even our closest friends put a lot of pressure on us to choose one sexual orientation and stick with it. But privately, many of us have questions and some confusion about our own sexual orientation -- and not just when we’re younger.<br /><br />How Is Sexual Orientation Determined?There are many theories about how sexual orientation is determined, and often the theory you get will say as much about the person giving it as it does about the research or thought that went into developing the theory.<br /><br />Those who subscribe to the theory of <a href="http://sexuality.about.com/od/glossary/g/genetic_determ.htm">genetic determinism</a> believe we’ll find a single “gay gene” or marker that controls our sexual orientation. Another theory is that no single factor will be found that accounts for our sexual orientation, because no single factor exists. Yet another theory is that the problem is in thinking about sexual orientation as something fixed in the first place. Some theorize that sexual orientation is a more or less fluid depending on the individual, and that it changes based on a combination of nature, nurture, and personal interactions.<br /><br />Different groups also debate the question of whether or not sexual orientation is a choice. This is related to the debate about whether or how much sexual orientation is genetic, and like that discussion, this one has no single answer and will likely never end.<br /><br />To read more <a href="http://sexuality.about.com/od/sexinformation/a/sex_orientation.htm?nl=1">click here.</a><script src="http://www.google-analytics.com/urchin.js" type="text/javascript"><br /></script><br /><script type="text/javascript"><br />_uacct = "UA-2410584-8";<br />urchinTracker();<br /></script>Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-10183391006395494592010-11-12T13:55:00.000-05:002010-11-12T13:55:08.406-05:00http://myemail.constantcontact.com/MaleSurvivor-s-Dr--Howard-Fradkin-issues-statement-as--how-to--e-book-for-pedophiles-makes-headlines.html?soid=1102872218941&aid=FK7J1j1fU10<a href="http://myemail.constantcontact.com/MaleSurvivor-s-Dr--Howard-Fradkin-issues-statement-as--how-to--e-book-for-pedophiles-makes-headlines.html?soid=1102872218941&aid=FK7J1j1fU10">http://myemail.constantcontact.com/MaleSurvivor-s-Dr--Howard-Fradkin-issues-statement-as--how-to--e-book-for-pedophiles-makes-headlines.html?soid=1102872218941&aid=FK7J1j1fU10</a><br /><br /><br />Los Angeles, Calif., (November 11, 2010) - After reading the recent CNN report about Phillip Greaves' e-book being boycotted by thousands of Amazon.com users, Dr. Howard Fradkin, founding board member of MaleSurvivor, wants people to understand the reality of children who have been sexually victimized by pedophiles. Researchers have found that one in six boys are sexually abused by the age of eighteen, with an average age of ten for the first incident. Most boyhood sexual abuse occurs between the ages of two and fifteen at the hands of adults commonly referred to as pedophiles.<br /><br /><br />"While I have not read the book, I have read Phillip Greaves' comments from his interview with CNN. Here is what I would like people to understand:<br /><br /><br />"True love does not include hurting children, and any time a child is violated sexually, either through penetration, sexual kissing or fondling, it hurts the child. Children do not have the capacity to give informed consent; even if a child perceives some pleasure in the attention received from a pedophile, in my experience it is always harmful to the child, not just in the moment, but for a very long time.<br /><br /><br />"From my perspective, loving a child commits an adult to protect the child from the demands of adult sexual needs and desires. Pedophiles are unable to see their behavior as harmful to a child which is why they describe it as being a loving way to introduce sexuality to a child.<br /><br /><br />"It may only be much later in adulthood that children experience the ill effects of the abuse, which often includes problems with emotional and sexual intimacy stemming from an inability to trust, substance abuse, sexual addiction, confusion in sexual orientation, depression, and suicide.<br /><br /><br />"The imposition of adult sexuality and emotional needs on a child is a developmental catastrophe, even when it is done with the 'best of intentions', the sort of good intentions I suspect Philip Greaves may argue for in his book.<br /><br /><br />"Most survivors of childhood sexual abuse do not become pedophiles, although it is believed most pedophiles were themselves victims of sexual abuse in childhood. Pedophiles often lack true empathy for the negative effects of their own childhood experiences of abuse and similarly lack true empathy for the negative effects of their sexual behavior with children.<br /><br /><br />"I would hope that instead of a book being written to help pedophiles engage in their behavior with less shame and guilt, a book should be written to help pedophiles identify the ways in which they mistake their own adult sexual desires toward children as an act of love, rather than as an act of self-gratification."<br /><br />Today, Dr. Fradkin will appear on The Oprah Winfrey show alongside Tyler Perry and 200 brave men to lift the veil of shame from male sexual abuse. The first segment of this two-part series aired last Friday, November 5, and has been touted as one of Oprah's most groundbreaking, "game changing" shows in her twenty-five year talk show career.<script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.google-analytics.com/urchin.js"><br /></script><br /><br /><script type="text/javascript"><br />_uacct = "UA-2410584-8";<br />urchinTracker();<br /></script>Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-82522735101292178662010-11-12T13:43:00.002-05:002010-11-12T13:47:29.864-05:00Today at 4PM Oprah Part 2 Male Survivors of Sexual AbuseA TWO-DAY OPRAH SHOW EVENT: 200 ADULT MEN WHO WERE MOLESTED COME FORWARD, PART 2<br /><br />This show today will be about men and their partners dealing with the aftermath and post traumatic stress of childhood sexual abuse.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.oprah.com/showinfo/An-Oprah-Show-Event-200-Men-Who-Were-Molested-Come-Forward-Part-2">http://www.oprah.com/showinfo/An-Oprah-Show-Event-200-Men-Who-Were-Molested-Come-Forward-Part-2</a>Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-56402533328690649552010-11-12T13:38:00.002-05:002010-11-12T13:42:03.384-05:00NoMoreDownLow.TVI just found this on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/NoMoreDownLow?v=wall#!/NoMoreDownLow?v=info">Facebook</a>. It is relevant for this blog given that I started this blog based on the concept of men on the downlow.<br /><br /><div align="center"><strong>NoMoreDownLow.TV</strong></div><div align="center">--a one-of-a-kind lifestyle and entertainment web television show. </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"><a href="http://www.nomoredownlow.tv/">http://www.NoMoreDownLow.TV</a> </div><div align="center"><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/nomoredownlowtv">http://www.youtube.com/nomoredownlowtv</a> </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/NoMoreDownLowCompany">http://www.twitter.com/NoMoreDownLowCompany</a></div><br />Overview:<br />NoMoreDownLow.TV is the premiere lifestyle and entertainment web television broadcast dedicated to speaking the truth and dispelling the negative stereotypes of same gender loving people of color and their allies.<br /><br />Jonathan Plummer & Janora McDuffie are the co-hosts. The show debuts on National Coming Out Day, October 11, 2010.Mission:Produced by Winbourne Entertainment Group; Earnest Winbourne, CEO and Executive Producer; Calvin Fleming, ProducerFacebook<br /><br />Page:http://www.facebook.com/NoMoreDownLow.<br /><script src="http://www.google-analytics.com/urchin.js" type="text/javascript"><br /></script><br /><script type="text/javascript"><br />_uacct = "UA-2410584-8";<br />urchinTracker();<br /></script>Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8375344096409031979.post-78947953613246926642010-10-31T18:14:00.003-04:002010-11-12T13:42:20.369-05:00Sexually Abused MalesSo many readers of Straight Guise are sexual abuse survivors. Sexual abuse is the number one reason many straight men compulsively have sex with other men.<br /><br />Given this I want to direct readers to a Q&A I do for <a href="http://www.malesurvivor.org/">http://www.malesurvivor.org/</a><br /><br /><a href="http://malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=postlist&Board=76&page=1">http://malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=postlist&Board=76&page=1</a><br /><br /><br />Also coming this Friday, November 5 is a two-day discussion on Oprah on males who have been sexually abused<br /><br /><a href="http://www.oprah.com/showinfo/A-Two-Day-Oprah-Show-Event-200-Men-Who-Were-Molested-Come-Forward_1?post_login=1">http://www.oprah.com/showinfo/A-Two-Day-Oprah-Show-Event-200-Men-Who-Were-Molested-Come-Forward_1?post_login=1</a> <br /><br />Oprah flew out 200 men who were sexually abused and for the first time has an all male audience talking about their childhood sexual abuse experiences.<script src="http://www.google-analytics.com/urchin.js" type="text/javascript"><br /></script><br /><script type="text/javascript"><br />_uacct = "UA-2410584-8";<br />urchinTracker();<br /></script>Dr. Joe Korthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08656437986661601760noreply@blogger.com0