Sex Addicts and straight men who have sex with men

As a sexual addiction expert over the past 22 years I have seen hundreds of men who have sex with men who are not gay. Sexual addiction causes its sufferers to go against their own will and do things that go against their own values.

The Larry Craig situation is bringing this into light through an article in the Washingtonpost.com article:

Tapping Into The Secrets Of the Stall
Experts Say Anonymous Sex In Public Places Is A Compulsive Behavior
By Lynne Duke and DeNeen L. Brown Washington Post Staff Writers
Thursday, August 30, 2007

Here are excerpts from this article that Straight Guise addresses:

Therapists also hear plenty about this world in the torment of their patients -- both married and gay men and those who eschew the word "gay" and describe themselves as "men who have sex with other men."

Whatever they call themselves, they are often driven by a craving, much like that which drives a drug addict, said Fred Berlin of the National Institute for the Study, Prevention and Treatment of Sexual Trauma at Johns Hopkins University.

"We use words like 'pervert' and we just demean and make very hard judgments," Berlin said. "What I found is that many of these people are hardworking and struggling hard to be in control. . . . Anybody can have a compulsion, whether it's a sexual compulsion or some other compulsion. That doesn't necessarily mean it's a measure of their character. Their character is something different."

And expert Eli Coleman who is a leading authority on sexual compulsivity had this to say:

"Some people are really compulsively driven to seek sex frequently, anonymously," says Eli Coleman, director of the human sexuality program at the University of Minnesota Medical School. They are often driven by the need to reduce anxiety and regulate their mood, to feel good temporarily, Coleman says.

"But oftentimes the behavior only gives short-term relief, and because of its furtive nature, they feel guilty and shameful and [tell themselves] they're not going to do it ever again, and then they're back out there."

An excellent resource on this topic is Patrick Carnes pioneering book, Out of the Shadows, on the topic, Rob Weiss' book for gay men and sexual addiction, Cruise Control, and I have a chapter about gay men and sexual addiction in my book, 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives.