Showing posts with label heterosexual. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heterosexual. Show all posts

Monday, August 13, 2007

Homosexual Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (HOCD)

Homosexual Obsessissive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD) is a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in which the individual is preoccupied about being homosexual when, in fact, they are heterosexual.

Some will read this and think it is ridiculous. The truth is there are many sufferers who worry about being homosexual--and some actually are. Until society makes room for gays and lesbians and diminishes homophobia, these types of disorders will remain.

Sufferers of HOCD will be relieved to know this exists and can get the help they need.

Characteristics of HOCD which I found at Brainphysics.com:

  1. Unwanted or intrusive thoughts about being homosexual
  2. Doubts of one's own actual sexuality
  3. Inability to get rid of unwanted worries or intrusive thoughts about being homosexual
  4. Seeing a member of the same sex causes anxiety and triggers unwanted thoughts about being a homosexual
  5. Avoidance of members of the same gender from fear of unwanted thoughts or anxiety about being attracted to them
  6. Thoughts or worries about giving off signals that one may be homosexual
  7. Repeating mundane actions for fear that these actions may have been performed in a "homosexual" way or a way that may signal homosexuality in the person (for example, a male may feel the need to get up from a chair and sit back down in it if he feels that the way he sat in the chair was "feminine," or a male may worry that the way he walks is too "feminine" or signals homosexuality)
  8. Repeating an action may relieve anxiety, but then the person feels the need to repeat the action (or ritual) again and again to relieve anxiety
  9. Anxiety over being a homosexual is in opposition to one's own values and desires
  10. One feels that the thoughts are unacceptable and inappropriate
  11. Homosexual thoughts are repulsive rather than arousing


Characteristics of Being Gay (not suffering from HOCD):

  1. Having feelings of attraction for members of the same gender (even if kept secret)
  2. Having sexual encounters with members of the same gender
  3. Preferring members of one's own gender for sexual/dating partners or feeling comfortable with both male and female sexual/dating partners
  4. Homosexual thoughts are pleasant, though a person may be shameful of their sexual orientation or keep it a secret

Sometimes a closeted gay individual can experience OCD symptoms until they fully come out. That is different than a heterosexual suffering from HOCD. There is no coming out process for someone who is straight other than with the fact that they are suffering OCD and need treatment.

I'm Gay and You're Not: Understanding Homosexuality Fears Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Takes Many Forms

A personal story written by Mark-Ameen Johnson for the BrainPhysics website, 8/2005 illustrates HOCD best. Mark is a gay man who had OCD and achieved recovery finding his truth homosexuality and coming out. He talks about those who have HOCD who are not gay who get treatment and their recovery is relieving symptoms of OCD understanding they are innately heterosexual.

Here is Mark's story



Thursday, July 12, 2007

If a man has sex with another man then he is not straight!

This myth exists and is used by reparative therapies and religious programs to reduce homosexuality to a sexual behavior. There are homophobic and heterosexist individuals who are misinformed about what it means to be a gay man and believe if you commit the sexual act, than that is what you are. There are many gay men who believe the same and argue that if a man is sexual with another man he is gay. They fall into the same category of prejudice and confusion over sexual preferences and sexual orientation.

SEXUAL PREFERENCE:

One’s sexual preference takes into account the desired sexual actions and fantasies with a partner; while sexual orientation encompasses a sexual identity with all the thoughts, feelings, fantasies, and emotions that cause us to become sexually excited. Thus, there is a distinct difference between a gay man and a “straight male seeking male,” or “SMSM.”

SEXUAL ORIENTATION:

A gay man’s sexual orientation is characterized by lasting aesthetic attraction to, romantic love of, and sexual attraction exclusively for others of the same gender. A gay man’s sexual thoughts, fantasies, and behavior are aligned. It is an identity based on affectional, emotional, spiritual, psychological and sexual feelings exclusively or mostly toward men. While some gay men can include and enjoy women as part of their sexual fantasies and behaviors (for instance, being sexual with a woman while with another man and his wife), the gay man is mostly if not totally attracted to men. I often explain it to my clients this way: If a gay man were walking on the beach, he would be sexually drawn only to men; he wouldn’t notice women in such a way.


On the other hand, SMSM's might be sexual with men from time to time, but on the beach, they’re staring at women. These are heterosexual men who engage in sexual behavior with other men for a number of reasons. They are not gay nor are they bisexual. Their same-gender sex acts are about physical release and sex, not about attraction to or desire for another man.

SMSM's are often turned off and left cold by naked images of men. Instead, they are sexually aroused by and attracted to women. These men typically want to bond with and need affection from other men. Their behavior may also reflect a desire to experiment, or an expression of problems and conflicts with their sexual feelings and desires—which have nothing to do with being gay. More often than not, these are the men whom I counsel or whose wives come to me in such frantic states.