This article is an important one for the men I talk about on this blog.
These men are most likely getting Anal HPV because they are on the down low and having sex with other men.
This Reuters Health, July 2008 is proof that these men exist.
________________________________________________________________
Anal HPV common in hetero men
Last updated: Monday, July 21, 2008
Roughly one in four heterosexual men have anal human papillomavirus (HPV) infection and, in many cases, a cancer-causing type of the sexually transmitted wart virus is present, a study shows.
Certain strains of HPV, which can be transmitted from male to female partners, are responsible for most cases of cervical cancer. Although much is known about HPV infection in women, this is not the case in men.
Only two studies have reported anal HPV prevalence in heterosexual men," Alan Nyitray, from the Arizona Cancer Center in Tucson, who led the current study, told Reuters Health. "The first study from Amsterdam recruited men in an STD clinic. The second from Sao Paulo recruited men who were husbands of women with confirmed cervical HPV infection. Our study is different in that we primarily recruited men from two universities, in addition to the general community."
In their study of 222 men, the researchers found that the prevalence of HPV in the anal canal was 16.6 percent. The prevalence of HPV around the anus (the "perianal" region) was 21.3 percent.
High anal cancer prevalence 'unexpected' in heterosexual men. Surprisingly, Nyitray noted, the prevalence of cancer in the anal canal is much higher than was reported in the Amsterdam and Sao Paulo studies, even though subjects in these studies were from seemingly high-risk groups. "This prevalence wouldn't be surprising for men who have sex with men, but for heterosexual men it was unexpected," Nyitray said.
Roughly one third of the men with anal HPV infection harbored a type that can cause cancer, the report indicates.
"There are a number of questions this study raises," Nyitray said. "For instance, how was HPV transmitted to the perianal region and anal canal of these men" and "how persistent are the infections," which are likely to affect the risk of anal cancer. – (Reuters Health, July 2008)
Showing posts with label MSM. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MSM. Show all posts
Monday, July 21, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
More MSM Finding Partners On Internet In Chicago, Contributing To Increase In Syphilis Cases, Report Finds
Every once in a while I think it is important to remind those reading this blog about the risk of HIV exposure and other STD's.
The following article talks about a report from Chicago in which men who have sex with men who meet from the Internet are experiencing a higher rater of STD's.
___________________________________________________________
In the MedicalNewsToday.com, a story appeared about an increasing number of men who have sex with men in Chicago are finding sex partners on the Internet, helping to fuel a rise is syphilis cases among the group, according to a report recently released by the Chicago Department of Health, the Chicago Tribune reports.
The number of syphilis cases in Chicago remained around 300 cases annually for about 10 years, and until 2001, most cases were recorded among heterosexuals. In 2007, 331 syphilis cases were reported in the city, 71% of them among MSM, the Tribune reports. According to the Tribune, one concern related to the increasing number of people diagnosed with syphilis is that they also are HIV-positive. Among heterosexuals diagnosed with syphilis at Chicago clinics four years ago, 6% were HIV-positive; however, last year, 15% were HIV-positive, the Tribune reports.
For the report, William Wong, medical director of the health department's division of sexually transmitted infections and HIV/AIDS, conducted confidential interviews as part of the health department's routine disease-surveillance activities. Wong said that for the first time, more MSM said they met sex partners online than in places such as bars.
He added that 34% of men diagnosed with syphilis in 2007 at clinics run by the health department said they met their sex partners on the Internet, compared with 33% who said they met their partners at bars or clubs. "Prevention does work, and the reductions over the last 10 years among women and the heterosexual community are an important advance," Wong said, adding, "We are making progress.
But syphilis is still around, and there's still work to be done." Deborah Levine -- executive director of the Oakland, Calif.-based Internet Sexuality Information Services -- said that although the Internet is not the cause of the increase in syphilis cases among MSM, it increases the risk of disease transmission. "If you go to a bar in a night, there might be 200 or 300 people there," Levine said, adding, "You can go on multiple Web sites in a night and potentially meet thousands of people.
The speed and sheer numbers allow for more possibilities for passing around infections." Wong noted that although the Internet has created new challenges, it also offers opportunities for intervention.
The health department has added more information about syphilis to its Web site and started posting banner ads on other sites. It also has launched a new site, called "inSPOT," which is administered in partnership with ISIS.
The site allows men to send e-mails anonymously notifying their partners that they have been exposed to an STI (Shelton, Chicago Tribune, 7/14). Reprinted with kind permission from http://www.kaisernetwork.org/.
You can view the entire Kaiser Daily Health Policy Report, search the archives, or sign up for email delivery at http://www.kaisernetwork.org/dailyreports/healthpolicy.
The Kaiser Daily Health Policy Report is published for kaisernetwork.org, a free service of The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation. © 2008 Advisory Board Company and Kaiser Family Foundation. All rights reserved.
The following article talks about a report from Chicago in which men who have sex with men who meet from the Internet are experiencing a higher rater of STD's.
___________________________________________________________
In the MedicalNewsToday.com, a story appeared about an increasing number of men who have sex with men in Chicago are finding sex partners on the Internet, helping to fuel a rise is syphilis cases among the group, according to a report recently released by the Chicago Department of Health, the Chicago Tribune reports.
The number of syphilis cases in Chicago remained around 300 cases annually for about 10 years, and until 2001, most cases were recorded among heterosexuals. In 2007, 331 syphilis cases were reported in the city, 71% of them among MSM, the Tribune reports. According to the Tribune, one concern related to the increasing number of people diagnosed with syphilis is that they also are HIV-positive. Among heterosexuals diagnosed with syphilis at Chicago clinics four years ago, 6% were HIV-positive; however, last year, 15% were HIV-positive, the Tribune reports.
For the report, William Wong, medical director of the health department's division of sexually transmitted infections and HIV/AIDS, conducted confidential interviews as part of the health department's routine disease-surveillance activities. Wong said that for the first time, more MSM said they met sex partners online than in places such as bars.
He added that 34% of men diagnosed with syphilis in 2007 at clinics run by the health department said they met their sex partners on the Internet, compared with 33% who said they met their partners at bars or clubs. "Prevention does work, and the reductions over the last 10 years among women and the heterosexual community are an important advance," Wong said, adding, "We are making progress.
But syphilis is still around, and there's still work to be done." Deborah Levine -- executive director of the Oakland, Calif.-based Internet Sexuality Information Services -- said that although the Internet is not the cause of the increase in syphilis cases among MSM, it increases the risk of disease transmission. "If you go to a bar in a night, there might be 200 or 300 people there," Levine said, adding, "You can go on multiple Web sites in a night and potentially meet thousands of people.
The speed and sheer numbers allow for more possibilities for passing around infections." Wong noted that although the Internet has created new challenges, it also offers opportunities for intervention.
The health department has added more information about syphilis to its Web site and started posting banner ads on other sites. It also has launched a new site, called "inSPOT," which is administered in partnership with ISIS.
The site allows men to send e-mails anonymously notifying their partners that they have been exposed to an STI (Shelton, Chicago Tribune, 7/14). Reprinted with kind permission from http://www.kaisernetwork.org/.
You can view the entire Kaiser Daily Health Policy Report, search the archives, or sign up for email delivery at http://www.kaisernetwork.org/dailyreports/healthpolicy.
The Kaiser Daily Health Policy Report is published for kaisernetwork.org, a free service of The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation. © 2008 Advisory Board Company and Kaiser Family Foundation. All rights reserved.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Gay, straight, bi, MSM all valid terms, researchers say
Today in the Washington Blade :
Craig scandal brings issue of sexual identity to light
Gay, straight, bi, MSM all valid terms, researchers say
ELIZABETH PERRY Friday, September 21, 2007
Sen. Larry Craig’s (R-Idaho) arrest last June for allegedly soliciting sex from another man in an airport restroom and his insistence that he is straight has reawakened the debate over sexual behavior, identity and orientation.“I am not gay. I have never been gay,” Craig said at an oft-quoted Aug. 28 news conference. “I did nothing wrong at the Minneapolis Airport.”
Craig scandal brings issue of sexual identity to light
Gay, straight, bi, MSM all valid terms, researchers say
ELIZABETH PERRY Friday, September 21, 2007
Sen. Larry Craig’s (R-Idaho) arrest last June for allegedly soliciting sex from another man in an airport restroom and his insistence that he is straight has reawakened the debate over sexual behavior, identity and orientation.“I am not gay. I have never been gay,” Craig said at an oft-quoted Aug. 28 news conference. “I did nothing wrong at the Minneapolis Airport.”
Kort, a gay therapist who specializes in gay affirmative therapy, said it is possible that Craig might well be homosexual in terms of orientation, but not identity. He said being “gay” is an identity, while being “homosexual” is an orientation.
“I treat many men who are homosexual and do not wish to be gay,” Kort said. “They cannot and do not change their orientation, however. For these men, and Larry Craig may be one of them, being gay is the furthest from how they see themselves. He may be a straight man who enjoys occasional sex with men or he might be a homosexual or bisexual man, but would never identify this way because it is an affirmative identity that does not fit for him.”
That view is controversial among many gays who reject the notion that “gay” is an identity. Some scientists and researchers in fields ranging from psychology, AIDS research, blood donation and more, use the term “men who have sex with men,” or MSM, for their purposes. It’s useful to them because it removes the stigma associated with terms like gay or bi and while questions of the latter terms raise a bounty of identity issues, MSM is more concrete and quantifiable.
Friday, September 7, 2007
"Homophobia Acts Like a Psychological Condom on their Manhood" Sociologist Christophe Gentaz
I promised not to turn this blog into anything political and I plan to keep that promise. The fact that so much of my latest entries is about a political figure, Sen. Larry Craig, is only because he is in the media and he is prompting conversations and debates about men who have sex with men (MSM).
We are seeing more and more that homophobic men are not always hiding homosexuality or deeply closeted. Some of these men were sexually abused and/or gender abused where their manhood was perhaps shamed and questioned.
In Larry Craig's case he was hiding homosexual behavior, not identity.
Men like Larry Craig who promoted prejudice by voting against gay rights was one of those men. His homophobia, as the quote from Christophe Gentaz says, is a psychological condom which was exposed the day he was arrested.
Today the Washington Blade, a gay newspaper, has an excellent Opinion article entitled:
Understanding Craig’s identity Gay Like many blacks, Idaho senator rejects media image of modern gay male.Friday, September 07, 2007
Here is a blurb from the article:
Society must come to terms with the fact that not everyone who has gay sex is necessarily gay. Although it may be a difficult concept for some to comprehend, gay sexual behavior does not equate to gay sexual orientation.
WE LIVE IN a society that is determined to categorize and force people into boxes, assigning them a ratings value of good or bad based upon their race, class, culture and sexual identification.
Today for an individual to self-identity as gay, they seemingly must take on an image created by the media that is based upon societal stereotypes.Craig rejects this identify, simply because this is not who he is.
He is a conservative, married man who has very little in common with America’s gay identity. In fact he is perfectly valid in stating that he is not a gay man.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
MSM as a construct
Interesting research found at EQUAL GROUND is the only organisation in Sri Lanka working towards mainstreaming Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans (LGBT) issues:
As a risk category, MSM are not limited to small self-identified and visible sub-populations, such as gay men and male sex workers. ‘MSM’ and ‘homosexual’ refer to different social identities. ‘MSM’ refers to the sexual relationships between men, whether or not they identify with same-sex sexual desire. ‘Homosexuality’, however, refers to more than the sexual relationship and may extend to broader relationships with the same sex, i.e. lifestyle, sexuality, etc.
In their assessment of the knowledge about the sexual networks and behaviours of men who have sex with men in Asia, Dowsett, Grierson and McNally observed that using MSM as a category does not always work. From the material they have reviewed there is not any clearly identifiable group of men who can be labelled MSM in any of the countries that they investigated.
“The literature reveals that there are no socially or self-defined groups of men that fit into an overarching category of MSM. What the review shows is that there are just men!! Fishermen, students, factory workers, military recruits, truck drivers, and men who sell sex, and so on: all these categories of men are to be found in the studies and programmes reviewed.”
There was no similar traits in all of the MSM population studied other than them being males, and engaging in sex with other men.
As a risk category, MSM are not limited to small self-identified and visible sub-populations, such as gay men and male sex workers. ‘MSM’ and ‘homosexual’ refer to different social identities. ‘MSM’ refers to the sexual relationships between men, whether or not they identify with same-sex sexual desire. ‘Homosexuality’, however, refers to more than the sexual relationship and may extend to broader relationships with the same sex, i.e. lifestyle, sexuality, etc.
In their assessment of the knowledge about the sexual networks and behaviours of men who have sex with men in Asia, Dowsett, Grierson and McNally observed that using MSM as a category does not always work. From the material they have reviewed there is not any clearly identifiable group of men who can be labelled MSM in any of the countries that they investigated.
“The literature reveals that there are no socially or self-defined groups of men that fit into an overarching category of MSM. What the review shows is that there are just men!! Fishermen, students, factory workers, military recruits, truck drivers, and men who sell sex, and so on: all these categories of men are to be found in the studies and programmes reviewed.”
There was no similar traits in all of the MSM population studied other than them being males, and engaging in sex with other men.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Becoming the Men They Were Meant To Be: Helping Sexually Abused Males
Approximately one in six boys is sexually abused before age 16. Often males who have been sexually traumatized and/or abused behaviorally act out homosexually—also known as homosexual imprinting. Some of these males are gay and most are not. Males who have been sexually abuse are often confused as to their sexual orientation because of the trauma. These men—both gay and straight—re-enact the trauma through homosexual behavior as adults. The new term for these men are MSM (Men having sex with men).
Resources for sexually abused men:
Malesurvior
Menweb.org
Author and Psychotherapist Richard Gartner
Author and Psychotherapist Mike Lew
RECOMMENDED BOOKS:
Resources for sexually abused men:
Malesurvior
Menweb.org
Author and Psychotherapist Richard Gartner
Author and Psychotherapist Mike Lew
RECOMMENDED BOOKS:
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Women at risk for STD's from MSM's
Not only should MSM's be concerned but so should women. The New York Times reported that:
In recent years, the disease has been most common in men who have sex with men. But now, health officials say they are concerned about an increase in cases among women in New York, following a trend seen nationally beginning in 2005. After a decade with almost no female cases, health officials said the jump among women was possibly fueled by an increase in the number of men having sex with both men and women.
City health officials said they were receiving more reports of bisexual behavior among men. And Dr. Stuart Berman, an epidemiologist at the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, said that in the last few years, New York men with syphilis had reported engaging in bisexual behavior more often than men with the disease in other cities.
An alarming piece from this article was:
Federal health officials estimate that those infected with syphilis are two to five times more likely to become infected with H.I.V., the virus that causes AIDS, because of the open sores caused by syphilis. But doctors said that because syphilis was on the decline until recently — medical providers do not routinely screen for it except in pregnant women — many people do not suspect the sores are a sign of infection.
Women deserve to know if their male partners are engaging in sex with men. I have many gay clients who have sex with married men who are not telling their wives they are involved sexually with other men for fear of being labeled gay, bisexual or having their wives leave them.
My hope is this blog will open some doors for men and women to talk more openly to each other and not put either at risk for STD's.
In recent years, the disease has been most common in men who have sex with men. But now, health officials say they are concerned about an increase in cases among women in New York, following a trend seen nationally beginning in 2005. After a decade with almost no female cases, health officials said the jump among women was possibly fueled by an increase in the number of men having sex with both men and women.
City health officials said they were receiving more reports of bisexual behavior among men. And Dr. Stuart Berman, an epidemiologist at the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, said that in the last few years, New York men with syphilis had reported engaging in bisexual behavior more often than men with the disease in other cities.
An alarming piece from this article was:
Federal health officials estimate that those infected with syphilis are two to five times more likely to become infected with H.I.V., the virus that causes AIDS, because of the open sores caused by syphilis. But doctors said that because syphilis was on the decline until recently — medical providers do not routinely screen for it except in pregnant women — many people do not suspect the sores are a sign of infection.
Women deserve to know if their male partners are engaging in sex with men. I have many gay clients who have sex with married men who are not telling their wives they are involved sexually with other men for fear of being labeled gay, bisexual or having their wives leave them.
My hope is this blog will open some doors for men and women to talk more openly to each other and not put either at risk for STD's.
Men Who Have Sex With Men Risking STD's
The risk of sexually transmitted diseases for MSM's is very high. Gay men are already taking precautions and have been as individuals and as a community since the 1980's. However, straight men who have sex with men are not doing so.
In The Windy City Times is the following article talking about the stigma of male-male sexual encounters and how this stigma puts these straight, gay and bisexual men at risk:
Empowering Men Who Have Sex With Men to Fight AIDS
2007-08-15
In 85 countries of the world, it is illegal for men to have sex with other men. Male-male sexual relationships are stigmatized, driving men to hide their activities from friends, family members and health workers, according to a recent report by the International Lesbian and Gay Association. Because these men are forced to live part of their lives underground, they often lack access to basic services and, as a result, are at increased risk of HIV/AIDS.
Men who have sex with men ( MSM ) is a term that applies to those who identify as “gay,” but it also includes many MSM throughout the world whose gender and sexual identities defy Western categorization. For instance, in India there are at least three designations: “Kothis” are effeminate MSM who may nonetheless be married to women and have families; “panthis” are masculine men who have sex with kothis; and “hijras,” who are often castrated, are often considered to be a third gender altogether.
While these groups often do not identify as a cohesive community, they share a vulnerability to HIV/AIDS. Men who have sex with men are among the most vulnerable populations to HIV transmission worldwide, and yet they continue to be one of the most underserved. Today, fewer than one in 20 MSM has access to basic HIV education, prevention services or care. Many will die of AIDS simply because appropriate programs to support them do not exist.
In The Windy City Times is the following article talking about the stigma of male-male sexual encounters and how this stigma puts these straight, gay and bisexual men at risk:
Empowering Men Who Have Sex With Men to Fight AIDS
2007-08-15
In 85 countries of the world, it is illegal for men to have sex with other men. Male-male sexual relationships are stigmatized, driving men to hide their activities from friends, family members and health workers, according to a recent report by the International Lesbian and Gay Association. Because these men are forced to live part of their lives underground, they often lack access to basic services and, as a result, are at increased risk of HIV/AIDS.
Men who have sex with men ( MSM ) is a term that applies to those who identify as “gay,” but it also includes many MSM throughout the world whose gender and sexual identities defy Western categorization. For instance, in India there are at least three designations: “Kothis” are effeminate MSM who may nonetheless be married to women and have families; “panthis” are masculine men who have sex with kothis; and “hijras,” who are often castrated, are often considered to be a third gender altogether.
While these groups often do not identify as a cohesive community, they share a vulnerability to HIV/AIDS. Men who have sex with men are among the most vulnerable populations to HIV transmission worldwide, and yet they continue to be one of the most underserved. Today, fewer than one in 20 MSM has access to basic HIV education, prevention services or care. Many will die of AIDS simply because appropriate programs to support them do not exist.
MSM Terminology
Here is another email I received about where the term MSM originated:
When the term MSM was coined it was to created it as you described to create an objective term so that materials produced could be relevant to any man who has sex with other men, regardless of how he identifies -- in getting information to men, and wanting it to be relevant they wanted to remove any internal barriers that might allow a man to say -- this isn't about me.
And if you think about it -- the exact reasons why homosexual sounds so right to you -- "a term with a history and culture" -- means that it runs into the same issue when using the term gay or bisexual -- by appearing to a segment of MSM as not being applicable to them.
Its also important to note that MSM is a clinical term and isn't really designed to be an identity, its just a way of putting a set of behaviors under a single roof that might be applicable to a variety of identities.
Currently those within the bisexual community are pushing to also make HIV/AIDS materials that are an expansion of the MSM materials that include behaviors MSMW -- so this carries information about sexuality transmitted diseases that men can carry with little or no effect that has a larger effect on women; additional information as relates to bisexual health and awareness, etc.
The Boston community is really in forefront of a lot of this work here in the US -- Fenway Community Health has been producing a specific bisexual targeted HIV/AIDS program that produces pamphlets specifically stating bisexual and another one for MSMW -- you should check them out. You should also look at the Bisexual Resource Center's website as they have a multitude of resources on Bisexual Health as well as other categories.
When the term MSM was coined it was to created it as you described to create an objective term so that materials produced could be relevant to any man who has sex with other men, regardless of how he identifies -- in getting information to men, and wanting it to be relevant they wanted to remove any internal barriers that might allow a man to say -- this isn't about me.
And if you think about it -- the exact reasons why homosexual sounds so right to you -- "a term with a history and culture" -- means that it runs into the same issue when using the term gay or bisexual -- by appearing to a segment of MSM as not being applicable to them.
Its also important to note that MSM is a clinical term and isn't really designed to be an identity, its just a way of putting a set of behaviors under a single roof that might be applicable to a variety of identities.
Currently those within the bisexual community are pushing to also make HIV/AIDS materials that are an expansion of the MSM materials that include behaviors MSMW -- so this carries information about sexuality transmitted diseases that men can carry with little or no effect that has a larger effect on women; additional information as relates to bisexual health and awareness, etc.
The Boston community is really in forefront of a lot of this work here in the US -- Fenway Community Health has been producing a specific bisexual targeted HIV/AIDS program that produces pamphlets specifically stating bisexual and another one for MSMW -- you should check them out. You should also look at the Bisexual Resource Center's website as they have a multitude of resources on Bisexual Health as well as other categories.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Empowering men who have sex with men to fight AIDS
One of the reasons I started this blog was to educate about all of the factors involved in men who have sex with men. One of the main problems is the risk of HIV. Many believe this is because gay and bisexual men are not responsible.
However a large factor is because many straight men who have sex with other men do not bring condoms because to do so would mean they intended to be sexual with another man and that it might mean they are gay. In other words, if I plan it I wanted it and that means I have a gay identity.
This is homophobia at work. Helping men who have sex with men understand that it does not mean their identity is gay or even bisexual can hopefully allow them to plan and use protection and stop the risk of infection to themselves and to the women in their lives to whom they go home.
An article by By Kevin Frost and Dr. Chris Beyrer in Bay Windows - New England's largest GLBT newspaper on July 26, 2007 reads:
Men who have sex with men, or “MSM,” is a term that applies to those who identify as “gay,” but it also includes many MSM throughout the world whose gender and sexual identities defy Western categorization. For instance, in India there are at least three designations: “Kothis” are effeminate MSM who may nonetheless be married to women and have families; “panthis” are masculine men who have sex with kothis; and “hijras,” who are often castrated, are considered to be a third gender altogether.While these groups often do not identify as a cohesive community, they share a vulnerability to HIV/AIDS.
Men who have sex with men are among the most vulnerable populations to HIV transmission worldwide, and yet they continue to be one of the most underserved. Today, fewer than one in 20 MSM has access to basic HIV education, prevention services or care. Many will die of AIDS simply because appropriate programs to support them do not exist.
However a large factor is because many straight men who have sex with other men do not bring condoms because to do so would mean they intended to be sexual with another man and that it might mean they are gay. In other words, if I plan it I wanted it and that means I have a gay identity.
This is homophobia at work. Helping men who have sex with men understand that it does not mean their identity is gay or even bisexual can hopefully allow them to plan and use protection and stop the risk of infection to themselves and to the women in their lives to whom they go home.
An article by By Kevin Frost and Dr. Chris Beyrer in Bay Windows - New England's largest GLBT newspaper on July 26, 2007 reads:
Men who have sex with men, or “MSM,” is a term that applies to those who identify as “gay,” but it also includes many MSM throughout the world whose gender and sexual identities defy Western categorization. For instance, in India there are at least three designations: “Kothis” are effeminate MSM who may nonetheless be married to women and have families; “panthis” are masculine men who have sex with kothis; and “hijras,” who are often castrated, are considered to be a third gender altogether.While these groups often do not identify as a cohesive community, they share a vulnerability to HIV/AIDS.
Men who have sex with men are among the most vulnerable populations to HIV transmission worldwide, and yet they continue to be one of the most underserved. Today, fewer than one in 20 MSM has access to basic HIV education, prevention services or care. Many will die of AIDS simply because appropriate programs to support them do not exist.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Coming Out or Acting Out?
Men who have sex with men are questioning their sexuality and are trying to find explanations about what they are thinking, doing and feeling.
For some it can be the beginning of the coming out process. The first three stages of coming out are riddled with confusion, denial and questioning whether one is really gay or not.
Straight men who have sex with men and gay men in the early stages of coming out resemble each other.
How can you distinguish whether your gay/bisexual or a straight man who seeks sex with other men?
For gay men they continue moving onto the final three stages of coming out and recognize it is about their identity. To be a gay man describes a sexual orientation characterized by lasting aesthetic attraction, romantic love, or sexual attraction exclusively for others of the same sex or gender. To be gay man means that his thoughts, fantasies and behavior are aligned. It is an identity based on affectional, emotional, spiritual, psychological and sexual feelings exclusively or mostly to men.
For bisexual men, they can enjoy both men and women being part of some of their sexual fantasies and behaviors. He might be more turned on to one gender than the other or to both equally but he has desire for both. Bisexual men will be only drawn to both images of men and women on the beach and will find himself distracted by wanting to look and potentially meet these either of them for a sexual and/or romantic relationship. In relationship they choose either a male or female and can choose monogamy if that is what they want while still enjoying fantasies of the other gender.
For straight men who have sex with men (SMSM) they engage in sexual behavior with other men, and are not "gay" or "bisexual". These men have sex with men and engage in sex acts with men but their orientation is heterosexual and not gay. These men are not romantically or sexually aroused by other men. They are not sexually distracted by images of other men on a beach or other public places. They are sexually aroused and attracted to women and are aroused at images of naked women or women in sexy attire and are left cold by these same images of men. SMSM’s seek sex with other men for reasons that are not about sexual and/or romantic orientation but are about sexual preferences. In fact they are turned off and left cold by naked images of men.
Their same-gender sex acts are about physical release and about the behavior not about attraction or desire for another man. Often they prefer for women to be present making the sexual contact more exciting. Their behavior reflects a narrative about the man in terms his need for bonding and affection from another man, experimentation, potential problems with his sexual feelings and desires, childhood sexual abuse, abuse from males throughout his life and many other factors.
In some cases strong, recurring same-sex fantasies can indicate a deeper social or sexual need. Loneliness and lack of identity can cause an erotic reaction to thoughts of other men. They often need drugs and alcohol to be part of their sexual behavior and often find themselves less aroused with men than they are with women.
SMSM's do not struggle with sexual desire for other men in terms of wanting romantic relationships as do gay and bisexual men.
The struggle for SMSM's is that because of heterosexism which insists someone is either straight, bisexual or gay based on their behavior that their sexual behavior defines them.
For some it can be the beginning of the coming out process. The first three stages of coming out are riddled with confusion, denial and questioning whether one is really gay or not.
Straight men who have sex with men and gay men in the early stages of coming out resemble each other.
How can you distinguish whether your gay/bisexual or a straight man who seeks sex with other men?
For gay men they continue moving onto the final three stages of coming out and recognize it is about their identity. To be a gay man describes a sexual orientation characterized by lasting aesthetic attraction, romantic love, or sexual attraction exclusively for others of the same sex or gender. To be gay man means that his thoughts, fantasies and behavior are aligned. It is an identity based on affectional, emotional, spiritual, psychological and sexual feelings exclusively or mostly to men.
For bisexual men, they can enjoy both men and women being part of some of their sexual fantasies and behaviors. He might be more turned on to one gender than the other or to both equally but he has desire for both. Bisexual men will be only drawn to both images of men and women on the beach and will find himself distracted by wanting to look and potentially meet these either of them for a sexual and/or romantic relationship. In relationship they choose either a male or female and can choose monogamy if that is what they want while still enjoying fantasies of the other gender.
For straight men who have sex with men (SMSM) they engage in sexual behavior with other men, and are not "gay" or "bisexual". These men have sex with men and engage in sex acts with men but their orientation is heterosexual and not gay. These men are not romantically or sexually aroused by other men. They are not sexually distracted by images of other men on a beach or other public places. They are sexually aroused and attracted to women and are aroused at images of naked women or women in sexy attire and are left cold by these same images of men. SMSM’s seek sex with other men for reasons that are not about sexual and/or romantic orientation but are about sexual preferences. In fact they are turned off and left cold by naked images of men.
Their same-gender sex acts are about physical release and about the behavior not about attraction or desire for another man. Often they prefer for women to be present making the sexual contact more exciting. Their behavior reflects a narrative about the man in terms his need for bonding and affection from another man, experimentation, potential problems with his sexual feelings and desires, childhood sexual abuse, abuse from males throughout his life and many other factors.
In some cases strong, recurring same-sex fantasies can indicate a deeper social or sexual need. Loneliness and lack of identity can cause an erotic reaction to thoughts of other men. They often need drugs and alcohol to be part of their sexual behavior and often find themselves less aroused with men than they are with women.
SMSM's do not struggle with sexual desire for other men in terms of wanting romantic relationships as do gay and bisexual men.
The struggle for SMSM's is that because of heterosexism which insists someone is either straight, bisexual or gay based on their behavior that their sexual behavior defines them.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
If a man has sex with another man then he is not straight!
This myth exists and is used by reparative therapies and religious programs to reduce homosexuality to a sexual behavior. There are homophobic and heterosexist individuals who are misinformed about what it means to be a gay man and believe if you commit the sexual act, than that is what you are. There are many gay men who believe the same and argue that if a man is sexual with another man he is gay. They fall into the same category of prejudice and confusion over sexual preferences and sexual orientation.
SEXUAL PREFERENCE:
One’s sexual preference takes into account the desired sexual actions and fantasies with a partner; while sexual orientation encompasses a sexual identity with all the thoughts, feelings, fantasies, and emotions that cause us to become sexually excited. Thus, there is a distinct difference between a gay man and a “straight male seeking male,” or “SMSM.”
SEXUAL ORIENTATION:
A gay man’s sexual orientation is characterized by lasting aesthetic attraction to, romantic love of, and sexual attraction exclusively for others of the same gender. A gay man’s sexual thoughts, fantasies, and behavior are aligned. It is an identity based on affectional, emotional, spiritual, psychological and sexual feelings exclusively or mostly toward men. While some gay men can include and enjoy women as part of their sexual fantasies and behaviors (for instance, being sexual with a woman while with another man and his wife), the gay man is mostly if not totally attracted to men. I often explain it to my clients this way: If a gay man were walking on the beach, he would be sexually drawn only to men; he wouldn’t notice women in such a way.
On the other hand, SMSM's might be sexual with men from time to time, but on the beach, they’re staring at women. These are heterosexual men who engage in sexual behavior with other men for a number of reasons. They are not gay nor are they bisexual. Their same-gender sex acts are about physical release and sex, not about attraction to or desire for another man.
SMSM's are often turned off and left cold by naked images of men. Instead, they are sexually aroused by and attracted to women. These men typically want to bond with and need affection from other men. Their behavior may also reflect a desire to experiment, or an expression of problems and conflicts with their sexual feelings and desires—which have nothing to do with being gay. More often than not, these are the men whom I counsel or whose wives come to me in such frantic states.
SEXUAL PREFERENCE:
One’s sexual preference takes into account the desired sexual actions and fantasies with a partner; while sexual orientation encompasses a sexual identity with all the thoughts, feelings, fantasies, and emotions that cause us to become sexually excited. Thus, there is a distinct difference between a gay man and a “straight male seeking male,” or “SMSM.”
SEXUAL ORIENTATION:
A gay man’s sexual orientation is characterized by lasting aesthetic attraction to, romantic love of, and sexual attraction exclusively for others of the same gender. A gay man’s sexual thoughts, fantasies, and behavior are aligned. It is an identity based on affectional, emotional, spiritual, psychological and sexual feelings exclusively or mostly toward men. While some gay men can include and enjoy women as part of their sexual fantasies and behaviors (for instance, being sexual with a woman while with another man and his wife), the gay man is mostly if not totally attracted to men. I often explain it to my clients this way: If a gay man were walking on the beach, he would be sexually drawn only to men; he wouldn’t notice women in such a way.
On the other hand, SMSM's might be sexual with men from time to time, but on the beach, they’re staring at women. These are heterosexual men who engage in sexual behavior with other men for a number of reasons. They are not gay nor are they bisexual. Their same-gender sex acts are about physical release and sex, not about attraction to or desire for another man.
SMSM's are often turned off and left cold by naked images of men. Instead, they are sexually aroused by and attracted to women. These men typically want to bond with and need affection from other men. Their behavior may also reflect a desire to experiment, or an expression of problems and conflicts with their sexual feelings and desires—which have nothing to do with being gay. More often than not, these are the men whom I counsel or whose wives come to me in such frantic states.
Saturday, July 7, 2007
What is Straight Guise?
In this blog, I’ll explain the concept of SMSM (straight men who have sex with men). This term derives from the growing body of literature showing evidence that not all men who have sex with men—even obligatory homosexual sex—are gay. It struck such a chord that even Oprah addressed the issue when she interviewed J.L. King who originally exposed this lifestyle in the black community with his breakout bestseller, On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of “Straight” Black Men Who Sleep with Men and Beyond the Down Low: Sex, Lies, and Denial in Black America by Keith Boyken. Straight Guise takes King’s book several steps farther. Both books talk about this phenomenon among African-American men however the truth is that it exists amongst all races, ethnicities, religions and socio-economic classes.
Straight Guise will explore the many reasons men have sex with other men, only some of which have anything to do with homosexuality or bisexuality.
Many types of men engage in same-sex relationships, for a variety of reasons, which I will identify for the reader. A few of them are:
1. Openly Gay: These are men with homosexual orientations and preferences, who are romantically and sexually aroused by other men. When engaging in sexual activity with men, they feel affirmed and positive.
2. Closeted homosexual: These are homosexually oriented men who are sexually attracted to other men but are ashamed of their feelings and repress their urges to enjoy their fantasies and behaviors—knowing it could lead to romance and love. When they engage in same-sex behavior, they feel ashamed.
3. Hetero-Emotional and Homo-Sexual Men: These are men who are romantically attracted to the opposite sex and are usually heterosexually married and can be sexual with women they love but they are predominately aroused and driven sexually by desire for sex with other men.
4. Bisexual: These are men with combined heterosexual and homosexual orientations and preferences who are sexually—and often romantically—aroused and desire both genders. When they fantasize or act out on these urges, they too feel affirmed and positive.
5. Homosexual Imprinting: These are men acting out early childhood sexual abuse. These heterosexual men are not homosexually oriented. They do not sexually desire nor are they aroused by other men. However, they compulsively re-enact childhood sexual abuse by male perpetrators through their sexual behaviors with other men. This has nothing to do with their sexual and romantic identities.
If a basically heterosexual boy is molested by a male relative, he may keep “returning to the scene of the crime” to defuse and desensitize his emotional pain. When his original trauma gets cleared up, the “homosexual” behavior he’s re-enacting ceases. This isn’t about gayness; it is about sexual abuse.
6. Men who are sex workers/male escorts: These heterosexual men engage in sexual behavior with other men by choice for the financial reward and lack desire for the other men and are aroused by the behavior not the man.
7. Men seeking intensely arousing but shameful experiences (dildo sex, bondage): These are heterosexual men who are strongly compelled and interested in various sexual experiences and preferences that would often be labeled as homosexual. To avoid being identified in this way by females, they seek out men, whom they perceive as non-judgmental.
8. First Sexual Experience: Sometimes heterosexual males experiment with other males sexually, usually in adolescence and/or young adulthood (up to age 25) for the experience and curiosity.
9. Availability/Opportunity: These straight men have high sex drives and are sexually aroused easily. They connect with men for physical sexual release, which can be quick and easy, avoiding having to emotionally engage.
10. Father Hunger: These are heterosexual men who crave affection and attention from their fathers and seek sex with men as a way of getting that male nurturance and acceptance.
11. Narcissism: These are straight men who are self-absorbed and have a constant need for attention and acceptance; they use sexuality with men to be worshipped and adored.
12. Sexual Addiction: “Gay” behavior can be the result of sexual addiction. I’ll clarify what sexual addiction is—and isn’t—and explore its defining signs and symptoms. But even a "cured" sex addict will still feel attracted to men, as do celibate gay priests.
13. Cuckolds: These are men who enjoy fantasies of--or the reality of--their wives and girlfriends having sex with other men either in front of them, nearby or with their knowledge about when and where it occurs. They’re often sexually aroused by feeling humiliated that their wives are being pleased by another male whom they see as more potent and better endowed. Other men enjoy being sexual with other men's wives in front of the husband or at least with their knowledge. Sometimes they engage in sexual behavior with the man but only in the presence of the wife or girlfriend.
14. Exhibitionists: These are men who enjoy being looked at by both men and women as long as they are being admired for their bodies. Many are body builders and muscular and enjoy the homo-erotic attention of gay men and might even flirt with gay men to encourage more admiration.
15. Sex in Prison: These are men who are imprisoned who engage in same sex behavior. Their need for sexual release with another person occurs with men as they are available. Once released from prison they no longer engage in sexual behavior with men.
16. Homosexual Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (HOCD): This is a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in which the individual is preoccupied about being homosexual when, in fact, they are heterosexual. They experience intrusive thoughts that they might be homosexual and feel compelled to engage in certain behaviors that make them think they are gay when in truth they are straight.
I’ll also address the controversial concept of reparative therapy (RT), which is based on the notion that gay or lesbian behavior is due solely to childhood trauma or gender confusion. RT does not believe there is anything positive about homosexuality and believes sexual orientation change is possible. Trying to change one’s orientation is harmful and impossible. In fact, RT has been widely discredited. I believe that RT isn’t therapy: it instills self-hate in gays and lesbians and is covert cultural sexual abuse. Every mental health institution and accrediting organizations have deemed it unethical.
Written from my perspective as a gay psychotherapist who has counseled thousands of sexually confused men over the years, Straight Guise shows how this phenomenon goes well beyond the African American community. Not a week goes by when I don’t receive distressed emails or phone calls from men who worry they might be gay and either are or are not and wives who have discovered their husbands engaged in gay hookups and relationships or exploring gay porn.
If there are any success stories by someone practicing RT or helping someone stop same sex attractions, the individual was not gay from the start. In other words those who state they have helped someone go from gay to straight or be relieved or same sex attraction are simply describing someone who is heterosexual who may have been acting out homosexual behavior having nothing to do with their sexual orientation.
The harm of groups which attempt to change sexual orientation are well documented in two excellent films, Fish Can't Fly and One Nation Under God.
I intend to help readers just as I have helped my clients, first by separating the two types of men in the world: There are men who are gay and bisexual and then there are heterosexual men who seek out sex with other men. The difference is one of sexual preference versus sexual identity.
Straight Guise will explore the many reasons men have sex with other men, only some of which have anything to do with homosexuality or bisexuality.
Many types of men engage in same-sex relationships, for a variety of reasons, which I will identify for the reader. A few of them are:
1. Openly Gay: These are men with homosexual orientations and preferences, who are romantically and sexually aroused by other men. When engaging in sexual activity with men, they feel affirmed and positive.
2. Closeted homosexual: These are homosexually oriented men who are sexually attracted to other men but are ashamed of their feelings and repress their urges to enjoy their fantasies and behaviors—knowing it could lead to romance and love. When they engage in same-sex behavior, they feel ashamed.
3. Hetero-Emotional and Homo-Sexual Men: These are men who are romantically attracted to the opposite sex and are usually heterosexually married and can be sexual with women they love but they are predominately aroused and driven sexually by desire for sex with other men.
4. Bisexual: These are men with combined heterosexual and homosexual orientations and preferences who are sexually—and often romantically—aroused and desire both genders. When they fantasize or act out on these urges, they too feel affirmed and positive.
5. Homosexual Imprinting: These are men acting out early childhood sexual abuse. These heterosexual men are not homosexually oriented. They do not sexually desire nor are they aroused by other men. However, they compulsively re-enact childhood sexual abuse by male perpetrators through their sexual behaviors with other men. This has nothing to do with their sexual and romantic identities.
If a basically heterosexual boy is molested by a male relative, he may keep “returning to the scene of the crime” to defuse and desensitize his emotional pain. When his original trauma gets cleared up, the “homosexual” behavior he’s re-enacting ceases. This isn’t about gayness; it is about sexual abuse.
6. Men who are sex workers/male escorts: These heterosexual men engage in sexual behavior with other men by choice for the financial reward and lack desire for the other men and are aroused by the behavior not the man.
7. Men seeking intensely arousing but shameful experiences (dildo sex, bondage): These are heterosexual men who are strongly compelled and interested in various sexual experiences and preferences that would often be labeled as homosexual. To avoid being identified in this way by females, they seek out men, whom they perceive as non-judgmental.
8. First Sexual Experience: Sometimes heterosexual males experiment with other males sexually, usually in adolescence and/or young adulthood (up to age 25) for the experience and curiosity.
9. Availability/Opportunity: These straight men have high sex drives and are sexually aroused easily. They connect with men for physical sexual release, which can be quick and easy, avoiding having to emotionally engage.
10. Father Hunger: These are heterosexual men who crave affection and attention from their fathers and seek sex with men as a way of getting that male nurturance and acceptance.
11. Narcissism: These are straight men who are self-absorbed and have a constant need for attention and acceptance; they use sexuality with men to be worshipped and adored.
12. Sexual Addiction: “Gay” behavior can be the result of sexual addiction. I’ll clarify what sexual addiction is—and isn’t—and explore its defining signs and symptoms. But even a "cured" sex addict will still feel attracted to men, as do celibate gay priests.
13. Cuckolds: These are men who enjoy fantasies of--or the reality of--their wives and girlfriends having sex with other men either in front of them, nearby or with their knowledge about when and where it occurs. They’re often sexually aroused by feeling humiliated that their wives are being pleased by another male whom they see as more potent and better endowed. Other men enjoy being sexual with other men's wives in front of the husband or at least with their knowledge. Sometimes they engage in sexual behavior with the man but only in the presence of the wife or girlfriend.
14. Exhibitionists: These are men who enjoy being looked at by both men and women as long as they are being admired for their bodies. Many are body builders and muscular and enjoy the homo-erotic attention of gay men and might even flirt with gay men to encourage more admiration.
15. Sex in Prison: These are men who are imprisoned who engage in same sex behavior. Their need for sexual release with another person occurs with men as they are available. Once released from prison they no longer engage in sexual behavior with men.
16. Homosexual Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (HOCD): This is a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in which the individual is preoccupied about being homosexual when, in fact, they are heterosexual. They experience intrusive thoughts that they might be homosexual and feel compelled to engage in certain behaviors that make them think they are gay when in truth they are straight.
I’ll also address the controversial concept of reparative therapy (RT), which is based on the notion that gay or lesbian behavior is due solely to childhood trauma or gender confusion. RT does not believe there is anything positive about homosexuality and believes sexual orientation change is possible. Trying to change one’s orientation is harmful and impossible. In fact, RT has been widely discredited. I believe that RT isn’t therapy: it instills self-hate in gays and lesbians and is covert cultural sexual abuse. Every mental health institution and accrediting organizations have deemed it unethical.
Written from my perspective as a gay psychotherapist who has counseled thousands of sexually confused men over the years, Straight Guise shows how this phenomenon goes well beyond the African American community. Not a week goes by when I don’t receive distressed emails or phone calls from men who worry they might be gay and either are or are not and wives who have discovered their husbands engaged in gay hookups and relationships or exploring gay porn.
If there are any success stories by someone practicing RT or helping someone stop same sex attractions, the individual was not gay from the start. In other words those who state they have helped someone go from gay to straight or be relieved or same sex attraction are simply describing someone who is heterosexual who may have been acting out homosexual behavior having nothing to do with their sexual orientation.
The harm of groups which attempt to change sexual orientation are well documented in two excellent films, Fish Can't Fly and One Nation Under God.
I intend to help readers just as I have helped my clients, first by separating the two types of men in the world: There are men who are gay and bisexual and then there are heterosexual men who seek out sex with other men. The difference is one of sexual preference versus sexual identity.
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