Monday, July 23, 2007

Straight Guise and HIV/AIDS

Straight men who have sex with men are at high risk for contracting HIV because they commonly do not use protection. Using condoms means that they would have premeditated their sexual behavior with other men--which they do not.

This prompted the popular 2003 Oprah show on men who go on the downlow. These men were exposing themselves to HIV and other STD's and bringing it back to their wives and female partners.

In other words, when straight men have sex with other men it is often without protection. To use protection would make them "gay" and they either are not or are struggling with coming to terms with their gay identity.

In the words of my clients and studies of these straight men, if they were to bring protection it would mean that they were intentional in terms of having sexual contact with another man. This would raise the issue of whether or not they are gay or bisexual. To avoid this line of thinking their sexual behaviors with other men are spontaneous, impulsive and often unconscious in the planning so that no preparation is involved to protect themselves or others.

Some readers will respond to this saying, "Well there you go it is because they are gay or bisexual and in denial and don't want to have to admit that they are what they are!".

If it were just that easy to explain--but it is not.

Some MSM's are, in fact, in denial about their homosexuality or bisexuality and are in an early stage of coming out. However the others are heterosexual men who are aroused by having sex with other men for a variety of reasons.

Because of homophobia, they are won't explore what their behavior means and risk HIV and pass it to others.

My hope is this blog heightens awareness for these men to use protection.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I was badly beaten and abused my both my father and mother(physical & emotional). The only way I could cope with this environment was to become passive and "take it up the ass". Eventually, I started to get picked on by boys at school. If I fought them back, I'd have to fight my father back and feared being killed if I did. Hence, I am a straight man who compulsively looks for other men (straight or gay) who will "screw me over". I learned to become a symbolic surrogate sex partner to my father. This is an extremely crippling compulsion and takes a long time to heal (perhaps an entire life).