Mother-son Incest

I discovered today that at MaleSurvor.org there were postings about the lack of resources on mother-son incest. There is such a taboo that mothers can--and do--sexually abuse their sons. But they can--and they do! However there are few to no books about the subject.

I want to start talking on this blog about mother-son incest because it does exist and contributes to straight and gay sexual acting out.

Some of the sexual abuse by mothers causes men to seek out sex with other men feeling that men are safer than women. Again, this is not about homosexuality it is about sexually acting out trauma. And there are a number of reasons for this that I will discuss here on Straight Guise.

One of the reasons mothers sexually abuse their sons is misandry.

The following is an excerpt from my book, 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Find Real Love in chapter five on gay men and their relationships with their mothers. I have edited it to speak to any male who has issues with his mother.

In this society, it is taboo to speak ill of our mothers, so we either keep
silent or get judged negatively for doing so. By going against his mother, a
man
gets punished and called a misogynist. Perhaps, owing to the horrors of
sexism,
the culture has become too focused in one direction, looking only at
what men
have done to women. It may be time, however, to examine what women
do to
men—especially mothers raising the boys who ultimately grow up to hate
women.
Somewhere our mothers play a part in engendering this negativity.
When
someone disparages his mother, why is our wondering whether she is
at fault met
with disapproval? We allow sons and daughters alike to
criticize their fathers,
and our discomfort over their negative talk is
considerably less than the public
outcry when the topic switches to Mommy
Dearest.
Society reveres anything
associated with “mother”—Mother Earth,
Mother Nature, and the celibate,
childless Mother Teresa. Especially in the
mental health field, when we examine
a child’s early infancy, we focus on
the mother, talking about the time and
attention she devotes to nurturing
her baby. During the child’s first year of
life, the father is rarely the
primary caregiver. I am sure this will change as
more fathers, particularly
gay men, join in the care and rearing of their
children. But until then,
talk about child-rearing usually focuses on the
mother.
Herein lies the
source of the social mantra “Love your mother.” No
one wants to believe that
a mother could not love her children. No one wants to
hear about how a
mother can lack maternal instinct. Those who speak out about
their mothers
abusing them or being indifferent maternally to any extent will
often not be
believed and find themselves accused of betraying their
mothers.
Mother
attachment runs so deep that in Necessary Losses, Judith
Viorst writes, “A
young boy lies in a hospital bed. He is frightened and in
pain. Burns cover
40 percent of his small body. Someone has doused him with
alcohol and then,
unimaginably, has set him on fire. He cries for his mother.
His mother has
set him on fire.”
Viorst goes on to describe the difficulty of separating
from one’s mother: “. . . it doesn’t matter what kind of mother a child has
lost
or how perilous it may be to dwell in her presence. It doesn’t mater
whether she
hurts or hugs. Separation from mother is worse than being in her
arms when the
bombs are exploding. Separation from mother is sometimes worse
than being with
her when she is the bomb.”
You can love your mother, not
want to hurt her,
and at the same time tell her how you feel about her even
when it is not all
good. Often, it’s the father who leaves the children and
the mother who
sacrifices her life for them, so it makes sense that she’s
protected and often
given a pass when she behaves badly. Our society even
protects mothers who have
mistreated or killed their own children; usually,
a group joins to create a fund
to help these mothers. Rarely is the same
done for fathers who mistreat their
children. But this makes sense, since
mothers are often there for her children
and the bond between them is very
tight.

More about mothers who sexually abuse their sons and how this manifests later.

There exists one book on this topic of mother-son incest called The Broken Taboo by Hani G. Miletski (Author)