Friday, August 10, 2007

If I enjoy receiving anal sex does that make me gay or bisexual?

This question haunts the many men who enter my office for therapy. The belief is that receiving anal sex equates to homosexuality and bisexuality and even worse to some--femininity!

My quest in this blog is to state repeatedly that an individual can enjoy a sexual act and fantasy unrelated to one's sexual orientation.

So the answer to the question in the title is "No!"

I see many men who enjoy having their wives use a strap-on to perform anal sex with them. They are still men who are straight and enjoy erotic anal play.

The problem is that men feel shame asking their wives to engage in this behavior. Other men do ask but their wives are opposed to it, are offended by being asked, and/or worry that their husbands are gay.

So these straight guise seek out men to act out their fantasy of being anally penetrated. They desire the sexual act, not the man.

The Feeldoe®

The Feeldoe® was invented and patented by a woman. She writes on her website:

Though Mia created Feeldoe® for lesbians and for friends who are female to male transgendered, many heterosexual couples are enjoying these new toys, too! Even men with a little problem can use a Feeldoe®. One way or another, this fabulous invention is pleasing people all over the world!

Those men who do succeed in talking with their wives and receiving anal sex have found the use of this sex toy on this adult website. *WARNING: Do not click if you are uncomfortable viewing sex toys.

Anal sex for males who enjoy receiving is the most troubling concepts for straight men and women because it is so closely tied to homosexuality. My hope is that this posting along with the rest of can assist couples to talk openly and honestly about their sexual desires without labeling and negatively judging each other.


Anonymous said...

This article was helpful. I am married and been with my husband for 12 yrs. This subject between us came up recently. I feel better about it since reading your article. I really didn't know what to think at first but didn't want to make him feel bad about himself either. I feel a lot more confident knowing this isn't unheard of.

Anonymous said...

Just an addition to my previous comment concering anal hygeine. I also recommend bathing in epsom's salts. Of course, there are other methods of anal hygeine, including books.


Anonymous said...

Is it gay if I like my girlfriend to use toys on me when we are having sex