Wednesday, August 8, 2007


Here is an email I received by a blog reader who has given me permission to publish his email to which I respond:

While I appreciate the discussion you've created on this list and on your Blog I do think that your website does also feed into a didactic viewpoint of one much either be Gay or Straight -- while you have injected the word bisexual or bisexuality in a few places, largely the content on your site seems to reflect a very either/or mentality which I think also inhibits men from understanding and accepting what their choices are beyond gay or straight. I think is most pronounced when we talk about men who are married who continue to have enjoyable and fulfilling sex with their wives also desire to have sex with men. It seems that almost everything is placed in terms of gay or homosexuality -- you don't frame this as bi or bisexuality, nor does this seem to be a viable option in your discussions, it doesn' t seem to come up.

By using dualistic terminology places in an individual into an immediate state of conflict -- of having to choose one over the other.

So I would say that I would like to see more discussions about bisexual identity as a third option -- to me, this is not the same as being gay -- and while that identity does also have its share of societal trials and tribulations -- the statistics show that in sexual identity mixed marriages, where the husband comes out during the marriage -- that in those marriages in which the husband identifies as bisexual there is almost double the success rate than in which the husband identifies as gay.

Makes sense when you think about it -- bi is inclusive of the wife, while gay is exclusive. With all of the issues that arise for a wife when a husband comes out, his identification plays a role in how that drama will play out.

I agree wholeheartedly with you Alexei and will be posting more about bisexuality.

Here is some resources for readers to explore:

  2. Books by Fritz Klein
  3. Bisexual health: An introduction and model practices for HIV/STI prevention programming
    Sexual health issues affecting bisexuals have been largely ignored and underrepresented in academic and professional literature. Many bisexuals have negative experiences with health care providers, whether it is because they are afraid to come out to their providers or because their providers give them improper or incomplete information on HIV/STI prevention.
    This report serves as an introduction to bisexuality and a model programming guide for HIV/STI prevention.
    Created by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Policy Institute, BiNet USA and the Fenway Institute.

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