Saturday, July 21, 2007

Women Who Love Straight Guise

A lot of my work consists of therapy with women in love with men who have sex with men. These can be mixed-orientation marriages where their spouse or partner is a gay or bisexual man or it can be with a women who learns her male partner is fantasizing and/or wants to have sex with other men.

Learning that a man seeks, fantasizes or wants sexual contact with another man does not mean he is gay as this blog explores the numerous other possibilities that exist. It does not mean the marriage has to end.

To see me talking about these couples click below:

1 comment:

Steve Boese said...

Great work setting the tone for the blog, Joe... this such critical content for understanding orientation issues.

One of my experiences as a married guy was similar to Lester's -- that trying to calibrate my affection for guys impacted all of my relationships, not just those with guys. It was also about self-expression, feeling a burden to present myself in heteronormative fashion for the benefit of others.

The pressing facet of coming out for me wasn't finding sexual intimacy, it was letting myself be known as a not-so-straight person and forming authentic friendships with gay men. In our case, that need wasn't perceived as being any less threatening to the relationship than if I'd wanted to have a sexual relationship with a guy.

But, I find that well-meaning, otherwise well-informed folks often don't 'get' the complexities of MOM when one spouse comes out.