Psychologist Robert Epstein uses the term, "Flex Sex" where men and women can have sexual contact with the same gender and not be gay or bisexual.
He was on the Morning Show with Mike and Juliet and talked about what I refer to as Straight Guise. I liked the way he verbalized men who have sex with men who are not gay.
He also has a sexual orientation survey on his website.
5 comments:
Joe,
I had read about Dr. Epsteins research and did the test months ago. I found it extremely refreshing. I hope that we as a society can now begin to allow people to find their identity and stop the stupidity of labelling people based on what they may have done in the past. The straight community needs to be more honest about their own flexibility but the gay community needs to stop trying to pigeon hole people into their own categories. Just because someone has had sex with a member of the same sex that does not mean they are gay, infact what this shows is the very few people actually are. It also shows that some more than others may be very able to change their orientation or at the very least their belief about what their orientation is.
I am also a Christian man who is married with children and I am getting so sick an tired of the attach against the church because it stands against the agenda of those who always want to push the envelop.
Hi Joe,
This kind of test has always bothered me... as a gay man in a straight marriage, taking an assessment like this always ends up defining me as bisexual - even though I have never been sexually attracted towards women. In answering these questions, I had to say that I have had fantasies about sex with women. But those fantasies were my attempts as a teenager to handle the homophobia I had learned as a child. They have nothing to do with my sexual orientation, even though they push me more towards the heterosexual scale of the continuum.
I love my wife, and I can (and do) function sexually in my marriage... but it's kind of like eating cabbage when I'm really craving chocolate.
wjc,
I would love to hear more about what you are saying. So you think Epstein's test is not effective or misleading?
Warmly, Joe Kort
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I found your blog via amazon.com where I was checking out Stephanie Carnes's new book. Thanks for taking the time to create this site - the men I know who struggle with this have such a huge amount of shame and confusion.
According to the survey I guess I'm flexibly straight.
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