Men Against Sexual Violence: Sexually Abused Males

I found an excellent site about raped and sexually abused males that every therapist and male who has raped or been raped should have as a resource.

The site at which I found the following is Men Against Sexual Violence http://www.menagainstsexualviolence.org/myths.html


MYTHS AND FACTS ABOUT MALE VICTIMS OF RAPE


Rape happens because of an uncontrollable desire for sex with an irresistible victim.

Rape is an act of violence in which sex becomes the weapon used to control and or harm a victim the rapist perceives as vulnerable.

Men and boys cannot be raped.

One in six men report having been sexually abused by the time they were 18 (Finkelhor et al., 1990).

Anyone from infants to the elderly, regardless of gender, race, religion, socio-economic status, education, physical appearance, marital status, or culture can be raped. Rapists choose their victims carefully, looking for anything that will make the victim vulnerable and give them the advantage. They isolate their victims from bystanders who could help them, and rely upon shock, surprise, weapons, threats, strength, or positions of authority to counter the victim’s ability to resist.

Homosexual males perpetrate most sexual abuse of boys.

Men who sexually abuse males are usually pedophiles or persons who prefer a child as their sexual partner, not homosexual males. Most perpetrators know their victims (Groth et al., 1989) (Roesler et al., 1994).

A man or boy who experiences sexual arousal or orgasm during the abusive act enjoyed it.

Males may respond to stimulation even when it is abusive or violent. A man or boy who experiences sexual arousal may feel shame and guilt, but the arousal does not mean that he was willing or enjoyed it (Gartner, 1999).

Boys abused by males are or will become homosexual.

A boy may question or be confused about his sexual identity and orientation after having been abused by a male, especially if he experienced sexual arousal. But there is no reason to believe that sexual abuse causes homosexuality (Gartner, 1999).

Boys who are sexually abused will grow up to be sexual abusers.

While the majority of sexual abusers were abused themselves, the majority of sexually abused boys never become perpetrators (Lisak et al., 1996).

If the perpetrator is a female, the boy should consider himself lucky, not abused.

Our societal norms encourage a boy to deny any negative or traumatic responses to having been “so lucky,” to having earned a “badge of honor.” But, having been coerced or manipulated into sex by an older girl or woman is always abusive and often damaging (Lisak et al., 1996).