Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Are you Heteroflexible? Calvin Klein makes room for you.


Today an ad was placed on a billboard in Manhattan, NY.
When I saw this ad I immediately thought about the homoeroticism that existed in the picture. What struck me the most was the "heteroflexibility" of the men. I appreciate Calvin Klein's illustration that men can have sexual feelings toward other men and still be interested in women.

These men are called, "Bisexual", "Bi-Attractional" and the new word is "Heteroflexible".
The Urban Dictionary defines Heteroflexible as:
A primarily heterosexual person who's not opposed to occasional same-sex trysts
when circumstances permit.
The Urban Dictionary also describes "Heteroflexible" as:
A person who enjoys sex with both male & females but considers themselves
heterosexual in the sense that they do not relate with the same sex for an
emotional relationship like a bi-sexual could. Heteroflexible is a heterosexual
person that is beyond the bi-curious stage but would never engage in an
emotional relationship with the same sex.
Many people are protesting and criticizing the picture because of the eroticism depicted in the picture.
I heard one person today say it reminded them of a Cuddle Party. A cuddle party is:
......an event for adults to get together and explore affectionate touch and
communication without it becoming sexualized. At these events, we create the
safe space to talk about and explore what our needs are as adults when it comes
to affection, intimacy and welcomed touch. In other words, CUDDLING!






4 comments:

Anonymous said...

As an american male, I need a label.
Now i have one.

Anonymous said...

It's odd that men in the united states are so repressed in the sense that intimacy with other men is not allowed. That intimacy doesn't have to be sexual. Even emotional intimacy is frowned upon especially in more red states.
One can just look at other foreign countries where men can be "close" with one another and it not be sexual and that that "closeness" is not frowned upon. But is normal.
I suggest that it is normal. What is abnormal, IMO, is is that the behavior in the Calvin Klein is considered wrong.

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Anonymous said...

First, I want to say I really appreciate the work Joe Kort and a few others are doing to put this issue on the public agenda.

I, like several male friends I personally know who do not consider themselves "bi", have had a handful of same-sex encounters over the last 15 years or so. In most cases these encounters were when I was in my 20s, were very specific and limited in nature (bj/hj), were opportunity-based with one of a couple like-minded male friends, and often involved a few beers at the end of an unsuccessful night at the singles bar. I have, however, also had a couple experiences with one of those friends in the last few years when I was in-between relationships.

I am now in my late 30s, and in the last couple of serious relationships I have had with women when I have brought this up, by way of trying to more fully explain who I am and what experiences I have had, it has caused problems, and in the last relationship resulted in a painful break-up. Part of the problem has been me not being totally comfortable talking about it, which probably influenced her reaction and fueled her suspicions that there must be something deeper going on. Part of it has to do with my tendency to fall in love with conservative Republicans. Anyways, those are both things I'm working on in therapy. But a big part of the problem was also the LACK of information available to women to help them understand that there is something that might LOOK like bisexuality or homosexuality in terms of behavior, but is actually quite different and really common among guys (at least based on my subjective experience and observations).

I just want to say it's great to know there's a website like this out there so that in the future when I bring up the topic I can direct my gf (if I need to, which hopefully I won't) to this valuable information resource.