Boyhood Shadows: A Documentary of Sexually Abused Men

A documentary titled Boyhood Shadows is soon to be released about males who have been sexually abused as children.

If you are a regular reader of this blog you know that many of the straight men I treat men who have sex with men were sexually abused as children and are homosexually imprinted in terms of behavior--not orientation--as adults.

Monterey County Rape Crisis Center has created a full length, groundbreaking documentary on Male Sexual Victimization. A website for the film is up ( http://www.boyhoodshadows.org/ ), the film has been submitted to Sundance and other big film festivals.

Watch the trailer it will make you cry. It had that effect on me! This is a very important and silenced topic that the producers are bringing forward!

I received word of this film by an AASECT member Stephen L. Braveman who was part of the creation of this much needed film. His contact information is below.


Stephen L. Braveman, M.A., L.M.F.T., D.S.T.
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
Certified Diplomate of Sex Therapy
AASECT Certified Supervisor
Gender Specialist
494 Alvarado Street, Suite A
Monterey, CA 93940
Phone: (831) 375-7553
http://www.bravemantherapy.com/
stephen@bravemantherapy.com

What is Homosexual Imprinting?

From the intial posting of what Straight Guise is all about, I talked about how Homosexual Imprinting which is when a male has been sexually abused by another male and acts out homosexually.

The fundamental principle here is that he is reenacting his sexual abuse, not expressing a homosexual identity.

In other words the behavior is homosexual in that it is male on male. However, the sexually abused male is heterosexual. Reparative therapies would lead you to believe that there is "not such thing as homosexuality" and that all homosexual expression is an "acting out".

This is false.

There are men who behave homosexually and are truly gay--romantically, affectinally, spiritually, sexually and psychologically.

Homosexually imprinted men are straight men whose homosexual expression is about behavioral acting out from original trauma.

SEX & LOVE MAPPING

By mapping I mean that one’s love and sexual preference map are determined early on in childhood. It is how we learn how to love. We observe and absorb how others love or neglect or abuse us and that becomes our “love map” according to John Money, a pioneer in the field of sexology.



This map becomes a template for what you seek out for pleasure in your adulthood.

Early in childhood, we’re all imprinted with family beliefs and societal norms. Imprinting is the psychological process by which specific types of behavior are locked in, at an early stage of development. All of us, gay and straight alike, are conditioned to think, feel, and act the way our early childhood caretakers nurture and teach us.

The first important thing to consider is this doesn’t mean the client is gay or even bi. He is simply left with an imprint to re-enact his homosexual abuse and find “pleasure” in what was inflicted on him as a child. In reality, this isn’t pleasure at all, but trauma turned into orgasm.

In the book, Male Victims of Same-Sex Abuse: Addressing Their Sexual Response by John M. Preble and A. Nicholas Groth they say it best:

“……this may actually reflect an effort at mastery of the traumatic event …..when he was being sexually victimized, someone else was in control of him sexually. During masturbation he is literally in control of himself sexually, and this may be a way in which he attempts to reclaim mastery over his own sexuality. Likewise, his participation in consensual sex reflects his choice and decision.”

The authors go on to say that “the fantasy thoughts are prompted by fear more than desire, by anxiety more than pleasure”. In other words, they become a way of managing the fear and anxiety.




Second, just because the sexual abuse was committed by a male doesn’t mean that it constituted homosexuality. When men sexually abuse girls, we don’t claim it’s about heterosexuality! We say it is simply sexual abuse—which involves power, violation and rape. Nothing about that is related to orientation.

For more information on male survivors of sexual abuse go to MaleSurvivor.org

Becoming the Men They Were Meant To Be: Helping Sexually Abused Males

Approximately one in six boys is sexually abused before age 16. Often males who have been sexually traumatized and/or abused behaviorally act out homosexually—also known as homosexual imprinting. Some of these males are gay and most are not. Males who have been sexually abuse are often confused as to their sexual orientation because of the trauma. These men—both gay and straight—re-enact the trauma through homosexual behavior as adults. The new term for these men are MSM (Men having sex with men).

Resources for sexually abused men:

Malesurvior

Menweb.org

Author and Psychotherapist Richard Gartner

Author and Psychotherapist Mike Lew

RECOMMENDED BOOKS: