Psychologists repudiate gay-to-straight therapy: CHANGE IS IMPOSSIBLE!

The following two articles are concerning people who have a homosexual
orientation but do not identify as gay or lesbian. In other words, an
affirmative identity for them as a gay person would cause a lifetime of
depression rather than coming out of the closet.

Professionally I
really think this is great! I have worked with so many men and women who cannot
consolidate a healthy gay or lesbian identity for so many
reasons--their
faith being one of the main reasons.

I realized years ago that it is not
for me to push them into a gay affirmative identity. It is my job to help remove
homophobia and shame and understand what is best for them. I was doing damage I
realized when I pushed for an acceptance of
their sexual and romantic
orientation when--for them--they could not choose their orientation over their
faith, family, morals and personal values.

I started http://www.straightguise.com/ for
straight folks having sex with same gendered individuals and I am going to make
it for those people who are of homosexual orientation and choose not to live
that way and for them would be leading a life of depression to idenitify as gay.

Still I think the problem is the religious institutions imprinting
homophobia and lack of acceptance of a gay identity and if these children--now
adults--would not have been imprinted with self-hate we would not have this
issue in my opinion!So this is great of the APA to acknowledge these folks.

Most important is that it is being reinforced that sexual orientation
cannot
be changed but how one lives their lives can be. The work below by
evangelical
psychologist, Mark Yarhouse of Regent University is highly
questionable as it is
not scientific but rather from a religious
perspective.

I would say that the people he "claims" are not longer gay but identify as
straight are simply people who were not gay from the start. They are people
who
have has sexual contact with other members of the same sex for many reasons that have nothing to do with homosexuality.

___________________________________________________


Psychologists repudiate gay-to-straight therapy
By DAVID CRARY
AP National Writer

The American Psychological Association declared Wednesday that mental health professionals should not tell gay clients they can become straight through therapy or other treatments.

Instead, the APA urged therapists to consider multiple options - that could range from celibacy to switching churches - for helping clients whose sexual orientation and religious faith conflict.

In a resolution adopted on a 125-to-4 vote by the APA's governing council, and in a comprehensive report based on two years of research, the 150,000-member association put itself firmly on record in opposition of so-called "reparative therapy" which seeks to change sexual orientation.

No solid evidence exists that such change is likely, says the report, and some research suggests that efforts to produce change could be harmful, inducing depression and suicidal tendencies.

The APA had criticized reparative therapy in the past, but a six-member task force added weight to this position by examining 83 studies on sexual orientation change conducted since 1960. Its comprehensive report was endorsed by the APA's governing council in Toronto, where the association's annual meeting is being held this weekend.

The report breaks new ground in its detailed and nuanced assessment of how therapists should deal with gay clients struggling to remain loyal to a religious faith that disapproves of homosexuality.

Judith Glassgold, a Highland Park, N.J., psychologist who chaired the task force, said she hoped the document could help calm the polarized debate between religious conservatives who believe in the possibility of changing sexual orientation and the many mental health professionals who reject that option.

"Both sides have to educate themselves better," Glassgold said in an interview. "The religious psychotherapists have to open up their eyes to the potential positive aspects of being gay or lesbian. Secular therapists have to recognize that some people will choose their faith over their sexuality."

In dealing with gay clients from conservative faiths, says the report, therapists should be "very cautious" about suggesting treatments aimed at altering their same-sex attractions.

"Practitioners can assist clients through therapies that do not attempt to change sexual orientation, but rather involve acceptance, support and identity exploration and development without imposing a specific identity outcome," the report says.

"We have to challenge people to be creative," said Glassgold.

She suggested that devout clients could focus on overarching aspects of religion such as hope and forgiveness in order to transcend negative beliefs about homosexuality, and either remain part of their original faith within its limits - for example, by embracing celibacy - or find a faith that welcomes gays.

"There's no evidence to say that change therapies work, but these vulnerable people are tempted to try them, and when they don't work, they feel doubly terrified," Glassgold said. "You should be honest with people and say, 'This is not likely to change your sexual orientation, but we can help explore what options you have.'"

One of the largest organizations promoting the possibility of changing sexual orientation is Exodus International, a network of ministries whose core message is "Freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus Christ."

Its president, Alan Chambers, describes himself as someone who "overcame unwanted same-sex attraction." He and other evangelicals met with APA representatives after the task force formed in 2007, and he expressed satisfaction with parts of the report that emerged.

"It's a positive step - simply respecting someone's faith is a huge leap in the right direction," Chambers said. "But I'd go further. Don't deny the possibility that someone's feelings might change."

An evangelical psychologist, Mark Yarhouse of Regent University, praised the APA report for urging a creative approach to gay clients' religious beliefs but - like Chambers - disagreed with its skepticism about changing sexual orientation.

Yarhouse and a colleague, Professor Stanton Jones of Wheaton College, will be releasing findings at the APA meeting Friday from their six-year study of people who went through Exodus programs. More than half of 61 subjects either converted to heterosexuality or "disidentified" with homosexuality while embracing chastity, their study said.

To Jones and Yarhouse, their findings prove change is possible for some people, and on average the attempt to change will not be harmful.

The APA task force took as a starting point the belief that homosexuality is a normal variant of human sexuality, not a disorder, and that it nonetheless remains stigmatized in ways that can have negative consequences.

The report said the subgroup of gays interested in changing their sexual orientation has evolved over the decades and now is comprised mostly of well-educated white men whose religion is an important part of their lives and who participate in conservative faiths that frown on homosexuality.

"Religious faith and psychology do not have to be seen as being opposed to each other," the report says, endorsing approaches "that integrate concepts from the psychology of religion and the modern psychology of sexual orientation."

Perry Halkitis, a New York University psychologist who chairs the APA committee dealing with gay and lesbian issues, praised the report for its balance.

"Anyone who makes decisions based on good science will be satisfied," he said. "As a clinician, you have to deal with the whole person, and for some people, faith is a very important aspect of who they are."

The report also addressed the issue of whether adolescents should be subjected to therapy aimed at altering their sexual orientation. Any such approach should "maximize self-determination" and be undertaken only with the youth's consent, the report said.

Wayne Besen, a gay-rights activist who has sought to discredit the so-called "ex-gay" movement, welcomed the APA findings.

"Ex-gay therapy is a profound travesty that has led to pointless tragedies, and we are pleased that the APA has addressed this psychological scourge," Besen said.


********************************

August 6, 2009


Psychologists: Don't try to reorient gays
Nicole C. Brambila
The Desert Sun

Conversion therapy for gay clients can be harmful and is scientifically unfounded, The American Psychological Association declared in a report released Wednesday.

The APA instead is encouraging therapists to consider other coping strategies such as celibacy or switching to gay-accepting churches to help clients conflicted over their sexual orientation because of their faith.

“What we found is people altering a sexual orientation identity, but not altering their sexual orientation,” said Judith Glassgold, Ph.D., chair of the American Psychological Association Task Force on Appropriate Therapeutic Responses to Sexual Orientation.

“Right now, we're all in the dark about what causes heterosexuality and what causes homosexuality. It's still not understood.”
The adopted resolution reflects a systematic review of conversion or reparative therapies began more than two years ago, as reported Wednesday on mydesert.com.

The report looked at more than 80 studies conducted from 1960 to 2007 and concluded no solid scientific evidence exists for purporting that individuals can change their sexual orientation, and that reorientation efforts could induce depression and suicide.

“Compelling evidence of decreased same-sex sexual behavior and of engagement in sexual behavior with the other sex was rare,” the 138-page report stated.

“Few studies provided strong evidence that any changes produced in laboratory conditions translated to daily life. Thus, the results of scientifically valid research indicate that it is unlikely that individuals will be able to reduce same-sex attractions or increase other-sex sexual attractions through (sexual orientation change efforts).”
Conversion supporters said the report was disappointing.

“I don't think that this affirms anyone's religious beliefs,” said Alan Chambers, president of Exodus International. “My hope was that they would reaffirm a person's right to self-determination.”

Formed in 1976, the Orlando-based nonprofit is a worldwide network of more than 350 ministries that promote “freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus Christ.”
Locally, psychologists praised the report, saying it was long overdue.

“It'll probably serve as a major brick in all the data that is more clearly delineating the reality that sexual orientation therapies do not work,” said Nick Warner, Ph.D., who as a clinical psychologist in Palm Springs has been counseling for 35 years.

Reparative or conversion therapy emerged in the 1970s and since then thousands have attempted to change their sexual orientation.

Elizabeth Moberly, a British theologian, proposed the root cause of homosexuality was the result of a detached and/or broken relationship with the same-sex parent.

A 2001 study by Robert Spitzer widely disputed by mental health professionals found 11 percent of males and 37 percent of females successfully reoriented, although the scientific community largely disputes those findings. The study is widely disputed by mental health professionals.

Homosexuality was once considered a mental disorder, but was removed from the diagnostic manual as such by the American Psychiatric Association in 1973.

Now all major American mental health associations affirm homosexuality is not a mental illness.

Conversion therapy success claims have long been disputed without a systematic review, making the APA's report Wednesday unique.

“People whose religious beliefs support conversion therapy, they're not really working from a scientific framework,” said Jack Drescher, M.D. renown for his work on sexual orientation and task force member.

“The American Psychological Association is a scientific organization. They can't tell people what to believe, they can only say what the science says.”

Born in the USSA! (Unwanted Same Sex Attractions)

No this is not a Bruce Springsteen song!

USSA stands for Unwanted Same Sex Attractions.

Sadly, the organizations which support them are mostly anti-gay and teach that there is nothing positive or okay about anyone being lesbian or gay.

This is where I part ways with these types of reparative therapies and exgay organizations. I believe that there are those with same sex attractions (SSA) and with the right therapy can rid themselves of them. However for those who are successful there were not gay from the start in my judgment. Perhaps they were bisexual or sexual abuse survivors or many other reasons men and women have sexual interest in the same gender.

A disturbing website exists titled, "SameSexAttraction.org" which states the following:

What is Same-sex Attraction?

Same-sex attraction is an intense interest in others of the same gender. This
interest may include desires for their attention, friendship, intimacy, and/or a
fascination with their bodies and other gender traits. It may also include
erotic thoughts, feelings, and behaviors directed toward the same gender. The
psychological community uses the term homosexuality to refer to the entire
complex that includes attractions, feelings, desires, sexual behavior, identity,
and all its associated aspects, such as problems with masculinity,
self-perception, emotional dependencies, and relationship issues.

A person who experiences same-sex attraction may experience emotional and sexual feelings or attractions, and may or may not engage in sexual behavior. Same-sex attraction cannot be identified simply by the presence or absence of outward
sexual behavior. Read a more complete description of what is same-sex
attraction.

So far in reading this I agree and I believe there are those who fall into this category and could be acting out homosexually and not be gay or bisexual.

However, the website turns to a chill toward gays and lesbians when you click on a page that says the following:

The plight of gay people

Gays and lesbians suffer, often unjustly and unfairly. In addition to
their difficult internal struggles, they also encounter the ignorance and
prejudice of others. Instead of receiving love and support from their families,
they are often ostracized. Rather than being involved in supportive church
groups, they find themselves on the outside because even good Christians often
don’t know how to react to someone with same-sex attraction.

Gay people are sometimes evicted by landlords, fired by employers, and
even face violent physical attacks. Hate crimes are increasing and some people
use AIDS
as an excuse to show their hatred.1 Less than 2% of the gay population survives
to age 65. They are 116 times more likely to be murdered and 24 times more
likely to commit suicide than the average person.2 It is a difficult lifestyle
where AIDS and other factors cause suffering and premature death.3 The
collective anger over mistreatment and the frustration caused by their internal
struggles are powerful forces behind the gay rights movement.

They use misinformation, lies, and scare tactics to persuade everyone struggling with same sex attractions that they are really straight and that there is nothing good about being gay.

I believe in "outing" these organizations and will do so from time to time on this blog to show how harmful they are.

I believe that men and women who struggle with same sex attraction deserve to have the path of heterosexuality and homosexuality open to them and they they deserve to find their way on their own with guides who do not have an agenda!

I am hopeful that myself and those reading my blog and books are those guides.

The Mankind Project's Position Statement on Reparative Therapy

The ManKind Project
Position Statement on Reparative Therapy

The ManKind Project adopts the following position statement:

1. We affirm that all men are welcome on our trainings and in our communities.


2. We create trainings and circles in which all men are welcome to discover the deepest truths. We welcome men of all sexual orientations: gay, straight, and bisexual, including those who identify as having unwanted same sex attraction, to do their own work as they define it, to respect the identity and value of others, and to take responsibility for the impact their words and behaviors on others.


3. We support each man in pursuing his path to deeper authenticity. We do not provide therapy nor endorse any particular therapy, including reparative therapy. Any group or organization that states or implies otherwise does so without our permission.


4. We do not, and will not, attempt to change a man’s sexual orientation.


5. We stand firm in support of gay and bisexual men. We support men who believe that homosexuality is a normal part of the spectrum of human sexuality and of mature masculinity.


6. We will not tolerate proselytizing for any religion or belief, organizing training staff into groups that exclude others, guiding men’s processes in a predetermined direction, or grooming men for the training.


7. We will not tolerate discrimination on our trainings or in our communities. We support our training and community leaders in identifying and challenging discriminatory language and behavior.
   

The Larry Craig Phenomenon: Homosexual but not gay!

An article today by Rick Leggio in the Dallas Voice
Gay? No. Homosexual? Maybe

He is homosexual, by his own guilty plea after being arrested for public loo trolling on June 11, 2007 (Craig’s Waterloo, this scandal’s basis). But being gay requires, at the barest minimum, self-identification and acceptance of a same-sex orientation.

This is what Straight Guise is all about.

Homosexual is a sexual orientation. Gay is an affirmative identity.

Plenty of men--and women for that matter--understand that their sexual orientation is homosexual. However, how they self-identify can be very different.

The reason this is so controversial is twofold. Gay men--such as myself--would never dream of not fulfilling their core authentic selves and they shouldn't.

However, in my practice I see many men and women who understand that they are homosexual and do not want to live as a gay man or lesbian. Who am I or anyone else to tell them they "should" live that way.

For many their religious beliefs, ethnicity, personal values, family ethics are too strong for them to go against. For these folks, living an out gay or lesbian life would mean depression even though most psychology would predict a life of depression not doing so.

But we are talking about two different things--being in the closet and being out. The homosexual men and women I treat who do not want to be self-identified as gay or lesbian are not in the closet. They recognize and accept that they have homosexual urges, feelings and desires and that if they choose to do so they would be gay or lesbian but they choose not to do so.

This is different than reparative therapies or any other program which tells its members they can change from gay to straight--turn their homosexuality into heterosexuality. This is hogwash!

Organizations such as the American Counseling Association, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, the National Association of School Psychologists, and the National Association of Social Workers have all denounced these reparative attempts.

These reparative therapies only lead to a life of depression not because they are suppressing their core selves but because they are being taught to hate and reject who they are at their core and lied to that change is possible.

Living heterosexually and being homosexual is possible as long as shame and self-hate are not part of the equation.

Those reading this would say, "Well, isn't that living in shame if you are homosexual but choose not to live that way?"

Try telling that to the man who is 62, married and loves his wife and does not wish to live a lifestyle of gayness. Or tell that to a women who was raped repeatedly and sexually molested by men throughout her childhood who decides to self-identify as a lesbian even though she knows she is straight.

These folks may, through therapy or other means, come out and work through their issues. But perhaps they won't, don't, or do not wish to?

Historically I would have said yes to this but have treated too many men and women who would suffer living out as gay men and lesbians. They would lose their families, marriages, children, religious groups, jobs, and other factors which for them the stakes are too high and would ruin their lives.

I am not condoning secret lives or living on the downlow.

The answer is not to shame these folks so that like Larry Craig they go to bathrooms or get on the internet and have anonymous sex. The answer is to understand them and help them understand themselves and to make the best decision they can for themselves and for their loved ones.

Politics, personal agendas, religious beliefs, reparative therapy camps aside, people should have the right to self-identify as they wish without putting other sexual and romantic orientations down as a result.

Reparative Therapy Guise?

***Note*** My intention in this blog entry is not to put down the work of Warren Throckmorton but to explain why I see concepts of reparative therapy throughout his work as a result of his statement that "his work does not have elements of sexual reorientation".

Warren Throckmorton posted what he believes to be my "misinterpretation" about his guidelines of his work. I blogged on July 26 this:

The problem is that when you read on both Throckmorton and Yarhouse talk about homosexuality as being able to be changed. Like reparative therapy they promise to make straight soldiers out of homosexual men....... I do wish Throckmorton and Yarhouse would stop promising to change peoples sexual and romantic orientation.

Throckmorton took issue with what I wrote on his blog writing:

Puzzled, I am. In fact, here is what we say in the framework:

Prior to outlining the recommendations, let us define what they are not. They are not sexual reorientation therapy protocols in disguise.

But throughout Warren Throckmorton's work on both his website and blog he does mention that change is possible. It may not be in the guidelines but it is throughout his body of work.

Here are just a few references from Throckmorton's work supporting and believing that change from gay to straight is possible:

In the video, "I Do Exist"

"Produced by Dr. Warren Throckmorton, I DO EXIST is a documentary about homosexuals who have changed their identity to one that is heterosexual. The documentary explores the different types of homosexuality from the people who dabble in it and people who adopt a gay identity...The most important part of the documentary is interviews with people who had identified as gay for many years and decided to change...

He is the producer of this video and still sells it and endorses it today. That means he supports the concept that sexual reorientation from gay to straight is possible.

Next, on Throckmorton's website he sites Exodus and PFOX as appropriate resources for those struggling with homosexual behavior. These groups promote the concept of changing from gay to straight. This is anti-gay and harmful.

That would be like me saying the KKK is a resource being for people struggling with Judaism!

And finally, Throckmorton's support of Yarhouse's work, which talks about changing from gay to straight, shows his support in that type of work.

It is important in anyone's work not to isolate a guideline or a book without looking at the entirety of one's body of work. Throckmorton cannot deny that while the main thrust of his work is not about changing sexual orientation, he does support those who do in his writings, videos and website.

Where does the concept of changing from straight to gay start and stop within Throckmorton's work. Hopefully he and his colleagues will work out these bugs within their work.

Men struggling with same sex attractions, desires and sexual behaviors should not be told, promised or guided to resources that speak of change of sexual orientation if they are, in fact, gay. This is harmful and a lie.

Wayne Besen (and numerous others doing research in sexual reorientation) have dispelled this work of the false concept of changing from gay to straight time and time again.

Where Throckmorton and I overlap is in helping men make sense of their same sex behaviors and assisting them in living congruent lives with integrity within themselves and others.

I believe Throckmorton's work is the best work out there at this time in helping men live within integrity with themselves if coming out is not an option for them. But they are still homosexuals. The one's who "change" were not gay from the start. Period.

How Reparative Therapy is different from Straight Guise

There is an excellent four part story on the ex-gay movement entitled My Ex-Gay Life: Dissecting Reparative Therapy My Ex-Gay Life: Dissecting Reparative Therapy

There is a great quote they start with:

"Sexuality is a fluid, dynamic thing. There’s no such thing as sexually-fixed identities - those are things that are fabricated by man." - Michael Glatze

And then the lies begin by those interviewed from the reparative therapy camps:

We are an organization of psychologists, psychiatrists, and psychotherapists around the country who really are committed to helping individuals who are dissatisfied with their same-sex attractions," says Joseph Nicolosi, one of the founders of the organization who currently serves as its President. "We’re defending their right to receive such treatment, and our right to offer such treatment."

The lie is that their treatment is the belief that everyone is born straight and that homosexuality is heterosexuality gone bad!

They will state in their literature that there is "nothing gay about homosexuality". This is the problem with NARTH, Nicolosi, and other programs for "ex-gays". That one can become "ungay"--like the 7-UP commercials for the un-cola I guess.

The problem is that they are calling homosexuality inherently damaged and a result of pathology. This is old school thinking.

No one can go from gay to straight. They can stop sexual behaviors but the gay man is still gay and the lesbian is still a lesbian. I always say if I never have sex for the rest of my life I am still a gay man.

However, the straight man who engages in homosexual behavior and stops was never gay from the start! He was a straight man having sex with other men for many reasons that are not all pathological.

Nicolosi goes onto say:

"[They need to] get those needs met thought a relationship with other men," he says. "The focus is not on not having gay sex... it’s putting the emphasis on making deep emotional attachments. And we have seen that when these men make deep emotional attachments to other men, their sexual interest diminishes."

Nicolosi is saying that gay men who put emphasis on making deep emotional attachments with other men they will no longer be gay. Tell that to the thousands of gay men--including myself--who have deep emotional attachments to other men and are still gay.

Are there straight men who hunger for male intimacy and act out homosexually and once the need is met they no longer seek out sex with men? YES.

Are there bisexual men who are more attracted to women but have sex with men and stop? YES.

Yes. But they are straight or bisexual from the start. They are not gay.

The issue at hand here is that reparative therapy has confused a gay identity with straight men who have sex with other men. They are apples and oranges. The theories are accurate in why someone would seek out sex with other men but they are not about being gay or homosexuality.

Father Hunger and Straight Men Who Have Sex With Men

I belong to an international group called The New Warrior hosted by The Mankind Project (MKP) which is an organization helping men learn how to have healthy relationships with others and live in personal and relational integrity.

In the MKP my work as a psychotherapist with gay, bisexual and straight men I see men who have have father hunger. I remember sitting across from a therapist at the age of 15 in 1978 who told me that my homosexuality was a result of my absent father who neglected me my whole life. I believed this therapist as he was my all-knowing doctor but inherently I knew that this desire for my father was separate to my gayness.

I still believe this today. Homosexuality is not the result of father hunger as some psychoanalysts and reparative therapies theorize. Both straight, bisexual and gay men suffer from this when growing up where their father was not around, unavailable, unaffectionate and perhaps may have been abusive.

I do not believe that father hunger creates a gay orientation in any way. There is no evidence to support this silly concept anymore than mother hunger would make a man straight.

That said I do believe that father hunger can direct the search for intimacy with another man for gay men, bisexuals and straight men to have strong desire for intimacy with other men.

For the gay man it would include romance, affection, and possibly sex that is congruent with how they see themselves.

For the bisexual man, it might include romance, affection and possibly sex--maybe even all three--that is congruent with how they see themselves as well.

For the straight man, it might include affection and possibly sex but it is not congruent with how they see themselves at all. Romance is not a part of the sexual contact for the straight men.

Males are taught from childhood that it is taboo to touch, show affection and love another male. So for straight men, going on the "downlow" for sex with men is their unconscious way to achieve this affection. In my office these men do not desire other men the way gay and bisexual men do. They are not struggling with desire or attraction to be sexual with a man nor are they distracted by images of naked men as gay and bisexual men are.

In the book, "I Don't Want To Talk About It", author and psychotherapist Terrance Real talks about growing up male I admire Real’s work for many reasons, chiefly because he writes mostly about heterosexual men and their fathers. It illustrates that straight men have problems with their fathers similar to those that gay men face. In other words, the father issues gay men face have little to do with being gay, but everything to do with growing up males without appropriate father figures. Again, the “scientific” explanation for homosexuality is that a weak father abdicates power to the mother. Thus the boy cannot identify with his father and separate from his mother, and the boy’s hunger for a male role model becomes eroticized. “This myth,” Real writes, “is repulsive.” I totally agree!

What boys need from their father, Real argues, is “affection, not ‘masculinity’.” He rightly stresses that men need more emotion and vulnerability, which they need to learn from their fathers. By being gay, little boys experience even more disconnection from their fathers but, again, this does not make them gay. Having a queer son can horrify a father. Yet how would he know if his son were queer? Perhaps a gay son is more clinging and emotional toward him, thereby provoking a harsh response, because he’s worried that his son is effeminate. If men are so ingrained to reject anything “feminine,” then imagine how a father reacts to an effeminate son or one who doesn’t behave in gender-appropriate ways. The distance is more extreme and the disconnection more severe.

Father hunger is the reason for homosexuality promotes groups like NARTH and other anti-gay reparative groups who believe change is possible.

My stance is that father hunger can direct erotic play and be separate from one's sexual orientation. It does not make someone gay or bisexual but can promote homosexual behavior. That is what separates my work from reparative therapists who do not believe in healthy gay and bisexual orientations which I do.